ive been quite aimless recently. i seem to just drift in college, not really having a purpose.
i wake up, nothing to look forward to. The exhileration of performing magic is gone, the adrenaline rush of getting numbers is gone, meeting new people, all gone. Walking at the corridors, seeing a million people wave at me and smile. Getting kissess on the cheeks, they all seem meaningless now.
Frankly, im quite tired of myself. tired of pushing myself towards every girl and thinking if she;s a potential fuck buddy, GF or just a friend.
tired of thinking whether i should speak to my ex or not. if i shud be angry at her or how to act
tired of worrying bout sarah allen and if she doesnt like me back.
im tired of a lot of things.
i think i really feel lonely. its hard spending a year with someone,then suddenly they're gone.
its really hard. im extending operation cloud until i get over sophie, which hopefully will be in a few weeks time.
i dont think i actually hate her, i dont even know why im hostile to her. why cant i just be happy for her and leave her alone?
actually i can actually leave her alone, ive been doing that since last saturday. its been like 4 days. doesnt seem like a long while but its been a bit excruciating.
Sarah allen is fitt. and im gonna be gaming her like there's no tomorrow come upload.
i will try to number close at least once before sarah allen comes. =D
i cant be bothered with sophie anymore.
Dear sinful, i hope the next time you read this, you're probably out of that trance sophie has put you. i mean right now im not really feeling too well. i feel like i still have to talk to her, call her.. something. i have to contact her. i have to talk to her.
i really dont. she isnt my responsibility anymore. she's with jon now, she replaced me with that dickhead, and quite frankly, to be quite honest, she's going for the looks. cause jon isnt really intresting, if you ask me.
Frankly i can blag on bout how better i am than jon all day long. but still- doesnt change the fact that she's with him now.
and what the fuck am thinking? what are you Sinful? you're a little Kid who does magic tricks, assumes that he's charming and can sweet talk a girl into bed.
Why are you pedastelling this chick? so what if she's happy? screw her, what about you Sin? when will you be happy?
Right now, i think i'll be happy once ive got sarah allen as my girlfriend.
she'll be my rebound at first. but i promise that i'll try my best with her.
Hope you get well soon sinful.
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