Sarah thinks im playing hard to get
she shouldnt think this way, she should think that im naturally HARD TO GET.
i actually dont know. im going lakeside tomorrow, but im definitely seeing her friday.
just thought i';d let you know.
i'd be LADDEN with sarges ocne i go on holiday
Wednesday 30 July 2008
Thursday 24 July 2008
Phwoar.
I had a plan.
Since sarah was angry at me, and i was angry at her, we both wouldnt budge.
i asked her best friend, Demi and hayden to go lakeside. emma asked if sarah can tag along. fine.
but i told her im not gonna talk to her.
Unless she's buying me a cookie.
so i was walking round with demi, then we met up with sarah and emma. i well ignored sarah first then she just barged at me and said sorry.
It went haywire after that, cause i wanted to kiss her and she kept going "no, not here."
we held hands and whatnot. i proper gamed her and shiz. but i kept saying, no im not gonna talk to you until you buy me a cookie.
this went on for another hour, and we eventually landed in tesco's in the cookie section. (after a shit lot of resistance)
i wanted to kiss her then, then she gave me the "no, not here." answer agian.
Fuck this.
We walked to the retail park and we sat down the couches and whatnot. i wanted to kiss her, but she wont lean in. she'd always just hug me. fuck hugs.
we walked to the apple shop, still no kiss and im getting fed up.
gamed her there, and was on Rockband and whatnot. we went on myspace for a bit, cuddled and shiz. the usual.
i leaned in for a kiss and she's like "no, not here."
Fuck this.
then i sat down on a stool and asked her to come over. i started turning her on by licking her neck and shit. she was digging that.
i changed the topic by saying out something (her favorite song came on, sarcasm)
i leaned in one last time, and we just made out. booyah, score.
it was smooth sailing after that.
we sat down on a ledge thing and was just making out. we kept getting interrupted and whatnot by pasby's. i was annoyed so i turned her round, spread her legs and made out with her badly, with her neck and whatnot. i tried groping her boobs, she refused.
oh for fuck's sake.
this went on for like 10 minutes, then my ex+ a few friends walked past.
another 10 minute making out session.
then emma goldsmith and demi walked past, and i turned sarah around so they could see my face and not sarah's. demi walked into a post. lol.
another 10 minute making out session.
i went "lets go.!" and we started to get outta that car park. i went "lets go up there..." and pointed at some height thing. we went in the stairs, and this is where it gets steamy.
we went to the top bit, and i looked out the door. she went "there's nothing the-..." i just puished her to the nearest wall and made out with her.
by this time im going slow, romantic slow. then i eventually pumped it up to sexual. she started grinding towards my dick, which was quite cool. i tried groping her again, for fuck's sake, rejected.
Fine.
more making out and whatnot, i groped her ass. she loved that.
Cool. rewarded her by kissing her neck and shiz, she loved that.
I tried to slip my hand down there, REJECTED.
i tried a semi freeze out by switching positions, meaning im leaning on the wall and im letting her do the work.
still rejected. on both areas.
For fuck's sake.
More making out and whatnot, switched positions, and i groped her ass. She rejected me the first time, but i ddnt care. i just tried to do it again, she let me then. She was moaning like there was no tomorrow,a nd grinding as well.
i tried to slip my hand down there, she rejected me. i told her to stop resisting and she shook her head.
Fine.
grinded with her and shit, she's really loving this. man im good.i got her on her toes and i slid my hand just far enough her ass to reach her pussy. fucking hell is it wet or what.
i started stroking her pussy from the outside with my left and groped her bum with my right hand. she loved it. she foooking loved it.
another 10 minutes of that, and i was fingering her, but not through her front part, but through her bum part, which is quite odd. o_O
Anywho, i had to literally cover her mouth just so no one would hear her moan. Fuck me sideways hear moaning really turned me on.
i'll get head soon enough.
Since sarah was angry at me, and i was angry at her, we both wouldnt budge.
i asked her best friend, Demi and hayden to go lakeside. emma asked if sarah can tag along. fine.
but i told her im not gonna talk to her.
Unless she's buying me a cookie.
so i was walking round with demi, then we met up with sarah and emma. i well ignored sarah first then she just barged at me and said sorry.
It went haywire after that, cause i wanted to kiss her and she kept going "no, not here."
we held hands and whatnot. i proper gamed her and shiz. but i kept saying, no im not gonna talk to you until you buy me a cookie.
this went on for another hour, and we eventually landed in tesco's in the cookie section. (after a shit lot of resistance)
i wanted to kiss her then, then she gave me the "no, not here." answer agian.
Fuck this.
We walked to the retail park and we sat down the couches and whatnot. i wanted to kiss her, but she wont lean in. she'd always just hug me. fuck hugs.
we walked to the apple shop, still no kiss and im getting fed up.
gamed her there, and was on Rockband and whatnot. we went on myspace for a bit, cuddled and shiz. the usual.
i leaned in for a kiss and she's like "no, not here."
Fuck this.
then i sat down on a stool and asked her to come over. i started turning her on by licking her neck and shit. she was digging that.
i changed the topic by saying out something (her favorite song came on, sarcasm)
i leaned in one last time, and we just made out. booyah, score.
it was smooth sailing after that.
we sat down on a ledge thing and was just making out. we kept getting interrupted and whatnot by pasby's. i was annoyed so i turned her round, spread her legs and made out with her badly, with her neck and whatnot. i tried groping her boobs, she refused.
oh for fuck's sake.
this went on for like 10 minutes, then my ex+ a few friends walked past.
another 10 minute making out session.
then emma goldsmith and demi walked past, and i turned sarah around so they could see my face and not sarah's. demi walked into a post. lol.
another 10 minute making out session.
i went "lets go.!" and we started to get outta that car park. i went "lets go up there..." and pointed at some height thing. we went in the stairs, and this is where it gets steamy.
we went to the top bit, and i looked out the door. she went "there's nothing the-..." i just puished her to the nearest wall and made out with her.
by this time im going slow, romantic slow. then i eventually pumped it up to sexual. she started grinding towards my dick, which was quite cool. i tried groping her again, for fuck's sake, rejected.
Fine.
more making out and whatnot, i groped her ass. she loved that.
Cool. rewarded her by kissing her neck and shiz, she loved that.
I tried to slip my hand down there, REJECTED.
i tried a semi freeze out by switching positions, meaning im leaning on the wall and im letting her do the work.
still rejected. on both areas.
For fuck's sake.
More making out and whatnot, switched positions, and i groped her ass. She rejected me the first time, but i ddnt care. i just tried to do it again, she let me then. She was moaning like there was no tomorrow,a nd grinding as well.
i tried to slip my hand down there, she rejected me. i told her to stop resisting and she shook her head.
Fine.
grinded with her and shit, she's really loving this. man im good.i got her on her toes and i slid my hand just far enough her ass to reach her pussy. fucking hell is it wet or what.
i started stroking her pussy from the outside with my left and groped her bum with my right hand. she loved it. she foooking loved it.
another 10 minutes of that, and i was fingering her, but not through her front part, but through her bum part, which is quite odd. o_O
Anywho, i had to literally cover her mouth just so no one would hear her moan. Fuck me sideways hear moaning really turned me on.
i'll get head soon enough.
My problem:
I'll just summarize this as short as i can. currently im doing a freeze out on her until august 9. that's when i get back from my holiday, perfect timing for a freeze out yeah? i go away on the 2nd so i only have to suffer a few days of not talking to her, haha.
Anyways, I met this girl while i was recovering from my bitch of an ex. i was semi gaming her, as she's my friend's best friend.
we rarely talked back then, then i think i escalated it from myspace gaming to phone game. at the time i wasnt over my ex yet but im willing to see other people. that was like a month ago or so.
I would hear things about her problems with her current lover and whatnot, and i'd BF destroy his ass ever so nicely.
Anyways. i invited her out one day with her best mate tagging along. i had a few of my minions tag along as well, so its all fun and dandy.
Gamed her like there's no tomorrow. and as i left, i made no kino at all but just did the ali-G respect gesture. I felt like oversmothering her with hugs and whatnot when the whole day she has been practically being kino'd by me would overkill it. specially when the cliche is to kiss and whatnot as i leave.
Anyways, s'all fine and dandy. a few days after that we met up for a club/event thing, i Dhv'ed like fuck. I knew almost everyone there. if i ddnt know them, i HAD to meet them. I had like my 8 pivots dancing on the dance floor, and a few just relaxing near the bar.
i initiated hand holding, then i read somewhere that if she's willing to hold your hand, you can kiss her. so i did. poof. instant making out for like ages.
anyways, i asked her out the same night, she rejected me and said "i dont want a boyfriend at the moment."
This is when things went Haywire for me. the "WHAT IF'S" started popping up in my head and im getting fucked sideways by it.
Did i somehow step onto the friends zone without knowing it?
I handled the situation by going "oh. Cool." and just made out with her anyways, but after that we soon got into little pathetic arguments that normally revolve around the fact that she rejected me and whatnot.
We met up a week after at just the park. we just relaxed there. cuddled and whatnot, the usual AFC stuff. my minions were running around (there were shitloads of them there so it kept us enteratained, created a conspiracy theme and whanot, etc.) Still am able to kiss her, but ddnt want to escalate fast since i view her as LTR material.
after that things just went chaotic. we got into major arguments after that and whatnot. I ask her to meet up, and she says she's doing something. Its always a valid excuse, but she doesnt seem too keen on meeting up or anything. (note when i say that i asked her to meet up, i dont ask it AFC style.)
anyways, things came to a close when this other guy named antony came along. A little competition is good. Actually scrap that, the bastard isnt competition. haha. =D
We just have arguments and whatnot nowadays really. The fact that she doesnt really seem keen on meeting up with me and gives me attitude every now and then quite pissess me off really.
Little things like i would call her first,then when i tell her that im going she'll reply with a "fine..." answer. sort of like a little spoiled brat not getting her way. i usually go "dont cry, i'll call back... if you're nice." or something similar.
I was wondering if the relationship is salvagable? I mean i havent tried to talk to her since the argument yesterday, and im gonna keep this up until the 9th. (which is a long way btw haha)
Im always up for the "abscence makes the heart grow fonder" crap that AFC's talk about. it seems to work on girls around my age. (15-17)
There is also a reason why im a bit AFC with her, and that's because she has had a shitlot of crap relationships in the past. and she has admitted that she ddnt want a boyfriend atm because she said it sort of scared her with boyfriends now and whatnot ( partly true i reckon)
I reckon i havent built enough comfort with her.
Im currently stuck between calibration, "being different from others" and Pure gaming through MM.
Calibration:
I read somewhere that to fully internalize gaming, you have to calibrate your game with your frame. my frame is LTR focusing on fun. then again im always up for a fuck but right now i see her as LTR material.
Being different from others:
This gives me a reason to go AFC because all the other guys she's been out with has been all dicks and just used her really. so, im countering that flow by going AFC on her.
Pure gaming just basically counters both of the above as i'll be gaming her through books and not actually myself. in my opinion MM or any method only gets you through the first hurdle, then after that you're on your own. which is why ive never really trusted the method (cept for the openers) and rely more into RSD for internalization and inner game building.
anyways, thoughts on my problem?
Anyways, I met this girl while i was recovering from my bitch of an ex. i was semi gaming her, as she's my friend's best friend.
we rarely talked back then, then i think i escalated it from myspace gaming to phone game. at the time i wasnt over my ex yet but im willing to see other people. that was like a month ago or so.
I would hear things about her problems with her current lover and whatnot, and i'd BF destroy his ass ever so nicely.
Anyways. i invited her out one day with her best mate tagging along. i had a few of my minions tag along as well, so its all fun and dandy.
Gamed her like there's no tomorrow. and as i left, i made no kino at all but just did the ali-G respect gesture. I felt like oversmothering her with hugs and whatnot when the whole day she has been practically being kino'd by me would overkill it. specially when the cliche is to kiss and whatnot as i leave.
Anyways, s'all fine and dandy. a few days after that we met up for a club/event thing, i Dhv'ed like fuck. I knew almost everyone there. if i ddnt know them, i HAD to meet them. I had like my 8 pivots dancing on the dance floor, and a few just relaxing near the bar.
i initiated hand holding, then i read somewhere that if she's willing to hold your hand, you can kiss her. so i did. poof. instant making out for like ages.
anyways, i asked her out the same night, she rejected me and said "i dont want a boyfriend at the moment."
This is when things went Haywire for me. the "WHAT IF'S" started popping up in my head and im getting fucked sideways by it.
Did i somehow step onto the friends zone without knowing it?
I handled the situation by going "oh. Cool." and just made out with her anyways, but after that we soon got into little pathetic arguments that normally revolve around the fact that she rejected me and whatnot.
We met up a week after at just the park. we just relaxed there. cuddled and whatnot, the usual AFC stuff. my minions were running around (there were shitloads of them there so it kept us enteratained, created a conspiracy theme and whanot, etc.) Still am able to kiss her, but ddnt want to escalate fast since i view her as LTR material.
after that things just went chaotic. we got into major arguments after that and whatnot. I ask her to meet up, and she says she's doing something. Its always a valid excuse, but she doesnt seem too keen on meeting up or anything. (note when i say that i asked her to meet up, i dont ask it AFC style.)
anyways, things came to a close when this other guy named antony came along. A little competition is good. Actually scrap that, the bastard isnt competition. haha. =D
We just have arguments and whatnot nowadays really. The fact that she doesnt really seem keen on meeting up with me and gives me attitude every now and then quite pissess me off really.
Little things like i would call her first,then when i tell her that im going she'll reply with a "fine..." answer. sort of like a little spoiled brat not getting her way. i usually go "dont cry, i'll call back... if you're nice." or something similar.
I was wondering if the relationship is salvagable? I mean i havent tried to talk to her since the argument yesterday, and im gonna keep this up until the 9th. (which is a long way btw haha)
Im always up for the "abscence makes the heart grow fonder" crap that AFC's talk about. it seems to work on girls around my age. (15-17)
There is also a reason why im a bit AFC with her, and that's because she has had a shitlot of crap relationships in the past. and she has admitted that she ddnt want a boyfriend atm because she said it sort of scared her with boyfriends now and whatnot ( partly true i reckon)
I reckon i havent built enough comfort with her.
Im currently stuck between calibration, "being different from others" and Pure gaming through MM.
Calibration:
I read somewhere that to fully internalize gaming, you have to calibrate your game with your frame. my frame is LTR focusing on fun. then again im always up for a fuck but right now i see her as LTR material.
Being different from others:
This gives me a reason to go AFC because all the other guys she's been out with has been all dicks and just used her really. so, im countering that flow by going AFC on her.
Pure gaming just basically counters both of the above as i'll be gaming her through books and not actually myself. in my opinion MM or any method only gets you through the first hurdle, then after that you're on your own. which is why ive never really trusted the method (cept for the openers) and rely more into RSD for internalization and inner game building.
anyways, thoughts on my problem?
Monday 14 July 2008
Im looking at you through the glass.
Today's been hectic. 8 pieces of coursework to do, only one passeed. 7 to go.
I seriously cannot be bothered.
IM not feeling well at the moment. sarah is really making my life complicated.
i cant even explain myself. ahh.
I seriously cannot be bothered.
IM not feeling well at the moment. sarah is really making my life complicated.
i cant even explain myself. ahh.
Saturday 12 July 2008
As it goes again
Just got back from the induction thing at next
got the job. turns out life is going great without sophie outen. (Fucking whore.)
SARAH ALLEN <3
got the job. turns out life is going great without sophie outen. (Fucking whore.)
SARAH ALLEN <3
Friday 11 July 2008
As it goes...
Life's been allright.
i need to do:
Lydia:
D1,M2
Brad:
M1,M3
Paul:
P4,P5,M1,M2,M3
to clear the whole of this year's units.
as for everythign else, its fine really. i really like sarah, and am pumped to see her everytime. Things are going well. i dont miss sophie at all, in fact i want my stuff back really lol
sorry i havent been inputting anything, there is really nothing to put. ive been sarging every opportunity i get.
as for the headcount? haha, scrap that. that was probably me being desperate.
=]
i need to do:
Lydia:
D1,M2
Brad:
M1,M3
Paul:
P4,P5,M1,M2,M3
to clear the whole of this year's units.
as for everythign else, its fine really. i really like sarah, and am pumped to see her everytime. Things are going well. i dont miss sophie at all, in fact i want my stuff back really lol
sorry i havent been inputting anything, there is really nothing to put. ive been sarging every opportunity i get.
as for the headcount? haha, scrap that. that was probably me being desperate.
=]
Sunday 6 July 2008
Upload (no PuA stuff)
i did a lot of work.
i was with sarah most of the time, obviously i was getting on her and shit. apparantly sophie was giving sarah well bad evils.
Sarah looked amazing. She was wearing a black vest and a brown vest over that. then she was wearing mini shorts with stockings and knee high black socks. she had a little cute pin to clear the hair off her face. she looked fucking fitt. 11/10.
ahh who cares, sophie's a whore. she looked a 6 out of 10 today. i never realised that she actually had fat legs. her hair was an absoloute mess with the pink, she looked like an idiot wearing that tutu, she looked like a dick wearing them fairy wings as well.
for once im actually ashamed that i went out with that. Seriously. apparantly she got on steve just to make jon jealous.
wow, that's really pathetic. Really really pathetic. whore. not that im jealous, i just think her life's really going downhill.
oh well, lmao!
anyways, onto eden and lee: apparantly eden was in tears by the end of the night cause lee thought eden was flirting with steve. lol, Dick. he looked like a twat last night. but then again, he was allright with me, so i cant really chat shit bout him.
eden looked like a whore. she was wearing tights. DISGUSTING. lets just leave it at that.
Moving on
steve is doing well in his little operation.
richard cheated on chloe, she was in tears at the end of the night.
moshing was fucking amazing, the exhilaration, adrenaline, wow. =D i had a good time moshing with tom, im proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.
when there wasnt a mosh, i would be outside socialising, dancing with my pivots (taryn,layla, jade) or dancing with lauren and naomi as well as gina... or dancing with random people.
it was generally a great night. =D
i was with sarah most of the time, obviously i was getting on her and shit. apparantly sophie was giving sarah well bad evils.
Sarah looked amazing. She was wearing a black vest and a brown vest over that. then she was wearing mini shorts with stockings and knee high black socks. she had a little cute pin to clear the hair off her face. she looked fucking fitt. 11/10.
ahh who cares, sophie's a whore. she looked a 6 out of 10 today. i never realised that she actually had fat legs. her hair was an absoloute mess with the pink, she looked like an idiot wearing that tutu, she looked like a dick wearing them fairy wings as well.
for once im actually ashamed that i went out with that. Seriously. apparantly she got on steve just to make jon jealous.
wow, that's really pathetic. Really really pathetic. whore. not that im jealous, i just think her life's really going downhill.
oh well, lmao!
anyways, onto eden and lee: apparantly eden was in tears by the end of the night cause lee thought eden was flirting with steve. lol, Dick. he looked like a twat last night. but then again, he was allright with me, so i cant really chat shit bout him.
eden looked like a whore. she was wearing tights. DISGUSTING. lets just leave it at that.
Moving on
steve is doing well in his little operation.
richard cheated on chloe, she was in tears at the end of the night.
moshing was fucking amazing, the exhilaration, adrenaline, wow. =D i had a good time moshing with tom, im proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone.
when there wasnt a mosh, i would be outside socialising, dancing with my pivots (taryn,layla, jade) or dancing with lauren and naomi as well as gina... or dancing with random people.
it was generally a great night. =D
Nang.
it was cute.
Sarah said goodnight, and she said that the first thing that she'll do when she wakes up is text me.
isnt that cute.
i talked to her for a bit. i had an argument with my mum bout my cv and whatnot (not important)
i told her i might not be able to come upload, she wasnt keen on hearing that. anyways, i ended up having to go anyways. so i asked sarah what i should wear, like gangsta or emo.
she said neither, so i went emo instead wearing my pimp blazer and my scarf if ever i take my blazer off along with my lacoste t-shirt, grey jeans and chavvy vans.
anyways, i came in upload, i social proofed already. one of the guards know me, and she was searching me while i was on the phone. Posh.
i told her not to let anyone take my chewing gum, anchoring that is, ANCHO-FUCKING-RING.
i saw a lot of people said hi and whatnot. and started dancing. saw taryn/layla/sophie/jade.
wow, my pivots. they wanted me to go out with them to the shops.
Fine. we bought booze, rebecca came with us, it was nang. we chatted for a bit, got to know some people, it was fun. rebecca is sort of my pivot.
anyways, i bought two bottles of smirnoff ice, and they were gigantic. sarah rang me and asked where i was, i met up with her outside, i immediately held her hand and stuff. there was a lot of contact and stuff until we went inside. we said hi to a couple of people and as i was leading the way
i just stopped dead in my tracks, pulled her close for a kiss.
Wow. she is an amazing kisser. i wanted to start off slow, but she splashed me with her tongue.
No flipping way, i actually enjoyed that. we got on each other for like 2 minutes, then we had to be pushed over to the dance floor.
we sat down, and started kissing each other.
Damn. im really doing this. HB 10 is eating my face out.
the rest were just little periods in between where i'd hug her and kiss her and whatnot.
then rob came over and asked if we were goingout. i answered "yeah.. i guess."
then i said "you know, i find it really weird to answer them sorta questions, will you go out with me sarah?"
she said that she isnt looking for a boyfriend right now.
that's fine darling, that's fine. you said no, that means i can get on anyone i want.
i was still with her and stuff, she thinks i was upset that she rejected me. no i wasnt really, i was fine. i still got on her and stuff afterwards, so its cool.
she's been texting me and stuff afterwards saying that she really likes me and would want to see me again, etc.. im cool with that, haha. im not complaining.
anyways, i kissed cherise in the lips like an hour after sarah left. i number closed someone as well afterwards.
sorry, had to be done.
thats it for my report.
all in all, i had a great time dancing, moshing, flirting with sarah, getting on her, talking to people.
Number close: 1
Kissess: 2
=]
Sarah said goodnight, and she said that the first thing that she'll do when she wakes up is text me.
isnt that cute.
i talked to her for a bit. i had an argument with my mum bout my cv and whatnot (not important)
i told her i might not be able to come upload, she wasnt keen on hearing that. anyways, i ended up having to go anyways. so i asked sarah what i should wear, like gangsta or emo.
she said neither, so i went emo instead wearing my pimp blazer and my scarf if ever i take my blazer off along with my lacoste t-shirt, grey jeans and chavvy vans.
anyways, i came in upload, i social proofed already. one of the guards know me, and she was searching me while i was on the phone. Posh.
i told her not to let anyone take my chewing gum, anchoring that is, ANCHO-FUCKING-RING.
i saw a lot of people said hi and whatnot. and started dancing. saw taryn/layla/sophie/jade.
wow, my pivots. they wanted me to go out with them to the shops.
Fine. we bought booze, rebecca came with us, it was nang. we chatted for a bit, got to know some people, it was fun. rebecca is sort of my pivot.
anyways, i bought two bottles of smirnoff ice, and they were gigantic. sarah rang me and asked where i was, i met up with her outside, i immediately held her hand and stuff. there was a lot of contact and stuff until we went inside. we said hi to a couple of people and as i was leading the way
i just stopped dead in my tracks, pulled her close for a kiss.
Wow. she is an amazing kisser. i wanted to start off slow, but she splashed me with her tongue.
No flipping way, i actually enjoyed that. we got on each other for like 2 minutes, then we had to be pushed over to the dance floor.
we sat down, and started kissing each other.
Damn. im really doing this. HB 10 is eating my face out.
the rest were just little periods in between where i'd hug her and kiss her and whatnot.
then rob came over and asked if we were goingout. i answered "yeah.. i guess."
then i said "you know, i find it really weird to answer them sorta questions, will you go out with me sarah?"
she said that she isnt looking for a boyfriend right now.
that's fine darling, that's fine. you said no, that means i can get on anyone i want.
i was still with her and stuff, she thinks i was upset that she rejected me. no i wasnt really, i was fine. i still got on her and stuff afterwards, so its cool.
she's been texting me and stuff afterwards saying that she really likes me and would want to see me again, etc.. im cool with that, haha. im not complaining.
anyways, i kissed cherise in the lips like an hour after sarah left. i number closed someone as well afterwards.
sorry, had to be done.
thats it for my report.
all in all, i had a great time dancing, moshing, flirting with sarah, getting on her, talking to people.
Number close: 1
Kissess: 2
=]
Wednesday 2 July 2008
Fear no pain, Hear no word.. Say Goodnight.
ive been quite aimless recently. i seem to just drift in college, not really having a purpose.
i wake up, nothing to look forward to. The exhileration of performing magic is gone, the adrenaline rush of getting numbers is gone, meeting new people, all gone. Walking at the corridors, seeing a million people wave at me and smile. Getting kissess on the cheeks, they all seem meaningless now.
Frankly, im quite tired of myself. tired of pushing myself towards every girl and thinking if she;s a potential fuck buddy, GF or just a friend.
tired of thinking whether i should speak to my ex or not. if i shud be angry at her or how to act
tired of worrying bout sarah allen and if she doesnt like me back.
im tired of a lot of things.
i think i really feel lonely. its hard spending a year with someone,then suddenly they're gone.
its really hard. im extending operation cloud until i get over sophie, which hopefully will be in a few weeks time.
i dont think i actually hate her, i dont even know why im hostile to her. why cant i just be happy for her and leave her alone?
actually i can actually leave her alone, ive been doing that since last saturday. its been like 4 days. doesnt seem like a long while but its been a bit excruciating.
Sarah allen is fitt. and im gonna be gaming her like there's no tomorrow come upload.
i will try to number close at least once before sarah allen comes. =D
i cant be bothered with sophie anymore.
Dear sinful, i hope the next time you read this, you're probably out of that trance sophie has put you. i mean right now im not really feeling too well. i feel like i still have to talk to her, call her.. something. i have to contact her. i have to talk to her.
i really dont. she isnt my responsibility anymore. she's with jon now, she replaced me with that dickhead, and quite frankly, to be quite honest, she's going for the looks. cause jon isnt really intresting, if you ask me.
Frankly i can blag on bout how better i am than jon all day long. but still- doesnt change the fact that she's with him now.
and what the fuck am thinking? what are you Sinful? you're a little Kid who does magic tricks, assumes that he's charming and can sweet talk a girl into bed.
Why are you pedastelling this chick? so what if she's happy? screw her, what about you Sin? when will you be happy?
Right now, i think i'll be happy once ive got sarah allen as my girlfriend.
she'll be my rebound at first. but i promise that i'll try my best with her.
Hope you get well soon sinful.
i wake up, nothing to look forward to. The exhileration of performing magic is gone, the adrenaline rush of getting numbers is gone, meeting new people, all gone. Walking at the corridors, seeing a million people wave at me and smile. Getting kissess on the cheeks, they all seem meaningless now.
Frankly, im quite tired of myself. tired of pushing myself towards every girl and thinking if she;s a potential fuck buddy, GF or just a friend.
tired of thinking whether i should speak to my ex or not. if i shud be angry at her or how to act
tired of worrying bout sarah allen and if she doesnt like me back.
im tired of a lot of things.
i think i really feel lonely. its hard spending a year with someone,then suddenly they're gone.
its really hard. im extending operation cloud until i get over sophie, which hopefully will be in a few weeks time.
i dont think i actually hate her, i dont even know why im hostile to her. why cant i just be happy for her and leave her alone?
actually i can actually leave her alone, ive been doing that since last saturday. its been like 4 days. doesnt seem like a long while but its been a bit excruciating.
Sarah allen is fitt. and im gonna be gaming her like there's no tomorrow come upload.
i will try to number close at least once before sarah allen comes. =D
i cant be bothered with sophie anymore.
Dear sinful, i hope the next time you read this, you're probably out of that trance sophie has put you. i mean right now im not really feeling too well. i feel like i still have to talk to her, call her.. something. i have to contact her. i have to talk to her.
i really dont. she isnt my responsibility anymore. she's with jon now, she replaced me with that dickhead, and quite frankly, to be quite honest, she's going for the looks. cause jon isnt really intresting, if you ask me.
Frankly i can blag on bout how better i am than jon all day long. but still- doesnt change the fact that she's with him now.
and what the fuck am thinking? what are you Sinful? you're a little Kid who does magic tricks, assumes that he's charming and can sweet talk a girl into bed.
Why are you pedastelling this chick? so what if she's happy? screw her, what about you Sin? when will you be happy?
Right now, i think i'll be happy once ive got sarah allen as my girlfriend.
she'll be my rebound at first. but i promise that i'll try my best with her.
Hope you get well soon sinful.
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