i actually have no idea about the amount of girls im gaming.
Wow.
anyways, i went upload yesterday:
as i got off my dad's car, i already knew some people, so i said hi and talked with the security guard for a bit, i made the girls laugh.
E.g. as i was being patted down i commented "this is like the best part. Rrrrr..."
as i entered, people flocked to me, and this girl named sarah said hi, and i pretended to not know her, lol. sophie was there too, and i was giving sarah the "sorry i dont know you look" and just went "OH ITS YOU!" +hugged her, etc. fluffed a bit, entered the dance floor.
saw some peeps, danced with some peeps, the usual.
we were raving, and i saw sophie kissing jon. wow. shattering. i went outside, and talked to demi.
i have work to do. 10 numbers in under 2 hours.
I spoke to sophie, and said that i was jealous and whatnot. then girls just flocked me from there and started calling me pimp (thanks to becca babes)
I just started gaming immediately after that. kept demi of a headcount of how many numbers im getting.
There's this one specific girl that caught my eye- she's becca's cousin. she's in year 11 and she's going palmers.
Bingoooo.
Gamed her like mad, just got to know her really, dropped the powerpuff bomb and she loved it. i picked up a glowstick and i tried to put it on her, i said its specifically blue cause she reminds me of bubbles, and everytime she'd see that she'd be reminded of me.
it wont fucking clip on. Shit.
i went to the stall and bought a new one, i chatted up the ladies and got a free goodie bag.
in the goodie bag contained a few sweets and a little plush toy thing, i presented that to her, and she asked if she can have it, i told her only if she's a good girl, and if she finds me by the end of the night.
this girl has LTR written all over her.
There's another girl called amanda, and she talked to me on the dancefloor bout my belt and whatnot, fluffed really. and as i was talking to sophie she popped out and started dancing with her, so i started gaming other chicks while they danced, etc.
basically i was just gaming this amanda girl, pulling all the stunts, the girl spinning, etc
better get started. Social proofed, etc etc.
anyways, this is the part where i was asking them all for their numbers etc.
anywho, at the end of the night well near enough the girls were practically all over me and calling me pimp. my pivot (Jemma) helped me a lot, and she ddnt even know it. my tie was being stolen and whatnot by a bunch of girls and amanda, and at the end of the night amanda had it, and i asked for it back, idk what happened but she kept it, but i asked for a kiss on the cheek instead, then a kiss on my lips.
That previous girl, Hollie the powerpuff girl... she did find me, and i landed a kiss on the cheek.
she said she shot amanda evil looks. i laughed. lol
she asked if amanda was my gf, cause she saw us kissing.
i laughed, then just asked for her number.
Great night.
somehow, sophie is still on my mind. fucking oneitis.
Saturday 31 May 2008
Friday 30 May 2008
oh for fuck's sake
I may have to redo that headcount, cause i just sarged a SHITLOT of girls.
♥MissAmanda"ShakeYourBum"Eaton♥ Yes Stacii Yh lol says (23:46):
if u told me u was single i would of got on u there nd then hehe
Okay
To be quite honest
im actually too busy gaming atm to actually write on this god forsakened blog
i WILL write.
I PROMISE
I WILL!
headcount: 6 numbers, 1 K close,
♥MissAmanda"ShakeYourBum"Eaton♥ Yes Stacii Yh lol says (23:46):
if u told me u was single i would of got on u there nd then hehe
Okay
To be quite honest
im actually too busy gaming atm to actually write on this god forsakened blog
i WILL write.
I PROMISE
I WILL!
headcount: 6 numbers, 1 K close,
HEADCOUNT! 30/05/08
hayley Rogers - on a stale until summer. When college people will not know that were going out. yes, im aiming to fuck. aiming just to fuck
Sarah (emma goldsmith's friend) - LTR, just met her a few weeks ago, fluffed really, nothing fancy. im starting to game her now.
Hope - No to LTR, aiming for head. She's allright, will start gaming her at the summer, when no one actually knows were going out. im aiming for head.
Shirley -LTR type. College girl, quiet, CHALLENGING. Gaming her 24/7. if she only actually has enough credit to reply, lol. LTR type.
On a stale:
Kristy - Potential LTR - Jack brown's girlfriend
Kirsty moore - Potential LTR - Personal family issues atm, untouchable cause of adam and ray.
Amy (Amy Amy, you know her lol) - Fuck buddy Fitt one, doesnt talk much but apparantly she's fucking fitt now mate.
Kirsty marks - no to LTR. Fuck buddy, yeah. can talk to her as well, which is a good thing =D she can drive too! on a stale cause she's on a 2 year relationship.
Working on it:
Sammie Ann cresswell - Potential LTR She's fucking tough. bitch shield 24/7 but her shield is a sorta boring shield LOL
Asheligh Corbin - Fuck buddy? She's allright, i'd tap that lol.
Will update this whenever
Sarah (emma goldsmith's friend) - LTR, just met her a few weeks ago, fluffed really, nothing fancy. im starting to game her now.
Hope - No to LTR, aiming for head. She's allright, will start gaming her at the summer, when no one actually knows were going out. im aiming for head.
Shirley -LTR type. College girl, quiet, CHALLENGING. Gaming her 24/7. if she only actually has enough credit to reply, lol. LTR type.
On a stale:
Kristy - Potential LTR - Jack brown's girlfriend
Kirsty moore - Potential LTR - Personal family issues atm, untouchable cause of adam and ray.
Amy (Amy Amy, you know her lol) - Fuck buddy Fitt one, doesnt talk much but apparantly she's fucking fitt now mate.
Kirsty marks - no to LTR. Fuck buddy, yeah. can talk to her as well, which is a good thing =D she can drive too! on a stale cause she's on a 2 year relationship.
Working on it:
Sammie Ann cresswell - Potential LTR She's fucking tough. bitch shield 24/7 but her shield is a sorta boring shield LOL
Asheligh Corbin - Fuck buddy? She's allright, i'd tap that lol.
Will update this whenever
Today-
Oasis-wonderwall
Addictive Choon. XD
anywho, i handed out some cv's today, i light gamed most of the employees, cause they're female. its quite cool actually, at one point the woman took my cv straight to the manager.
Cool! =D
my day was allright, only had to pay 4 pounds for the meal, quality. i love ray. LOL
Im going upload later on, there'll be no eden there, no jon. just sophie.
i wont be all over her, and i'll be playing hard to get. im just gonna game girls right in front of her damn face.
wow im evil.
im also gonna look like justin timberlake- i apologise now, this is completely and solely to rub it in her fucking face what she's missing out on.
Addictive Choon. XD
anywho, i handed out some cv's today, i light gamed most of the employees, cause they're female. its quite cool actually, at one point the woman took my cv straight to the manager.
Cool! =D
my day was allright, only had to pay 4 pounds for the meal, quality. i love ray. LOL
Im going upload later on, there'll be no eden there, no jon. just sophie.
i wont be all over her, and i'll be playing hard to get. im just gonna game girls right in front of her damn face.
wow im evil.
im also gonna look like justin timberlake- i apologise now, this is completely and solely to rub it in her fucking face what she's missing out on.
Note:
Conversation below is NOT FULL. i repeat, i have light gamed her, though there was a bit of serious talk involved, and i felt that the serious talkw as more important than the gaming part.
On a sidenote: me and sophie spoke for a bit yesterday, she said goodnight, i CnF'ed a bit and said "you sound like my nan" etc. playful, then she got stroppy and i sort of just went numb on her.
i said goodnight a few hours later, and i said goodmorning today. i dont think she has any credit left. lol.
On a sidenote: me and sophie spoke for a bit yesterday, she said goodnight, i CnF'ed a bit and said "you sound like my nan" etc. playful, then she got stroppy and i sort of just went numb on her.
i said goodnight a few hours later, and i said goodmorning today. i dont think she has any credit left. lol.
Thursday 29 May 2008
Conversation
This is a conversation i had from sophie, its quite. Intresting. there's a part there where i mentioned thatshe kept popping into my mind all day today, which she did anyways, and she said that her grandad has a week to live.
i said to her it was some freakish connection, cause i was gonna ask if she wanted to do something tomorrow, but decided not to cause of jon.
its quite odd, i really do have a connection with this girl.
Like, this is light gaming. to the fullest.
i said to her it was some freakish connection, cause i was gonna ask if she wanted to do something tomorrow, but decided not to cause of jon.
its quite odd, i really do have a connection with this girl.
Like, this is light gaming. to the fullest.
Wednesday 28 May 2008
Great
So as from my previous post, i ddnt really feel good bout things.
i was at chafford, and i rang hope, she just got up >__> i told her to get her ass moving else im leaving.
i ended up having to walk to sainsburies, and they met up with me. took me like an hour in total, and then we walked to hope's house. that took another half hour.
as we met up they were talking to hope's nany, they ddnt seem intrested so i gamed her nan. +brownie points.
we started walking
Fucking hell the journey was soo flipping boring, i genuinely was NOT entertained at all, and was just fluffing, trying to keep the conversation flowing. i would constantly toss leaves towards hope, just for fun, and i picked up stinging nettles instead. charming, now some of my fingers on my left hand is a bit numb.
we got there, her house is well messy. we was gonna watch a film. Charming. Shrek 3.
i wanted a drink, so i walked with her, i kissed her once, then we sorta went to sit down.
we were holding hands and being snuggly and whatever, i kissed her like twice during the film, and after i kissed her for like 10 seconds.
she and sisca (her best mate) had to go cause they were gonna watch that new indiana jones film, i asked if i could get a lift from sisca's parents, etc.
Fucking hell, her parents were RUDE as fuck, if i knew any better they were pikeys. they were soo fucking arrogant, its insane. im not even gonna bother explaining, but i DISLIKE THEM with a passion now. twat.
i met up with steve later, and that sorta cheered me up.
met up with hayden afterwards as well, me and hayden just talked really.
then we met up with hayley and paris. it was allright until paris went:
"oh uve met me before, when you were with sophie, but ur not with sophie anymore, she's with jon, how do you feel now?"
"ehrm, im fine thanks." *shrugs*
wow, proper cunt for rubbing that in.
walked round with hayden for a bit afterwards, then met up with kirsty marks. told her the story, and we just basically fluffed really and talked. then she was gonna drive me home, and she forgot where she parked her car.
we eventually got there, LOL.
meh, idk. i find myself thinking bout sophie more now.
Sucks.
i'll fill ya in later if i speak to sophie.
i was at chafford, and i rang hope, she just got up >__> i told her to get her ass moving else im leaving.
i ended up having to walk to sainsburies, and they met up with me. took me like an hour in total, and then we walked to hope's house. that took another half hour.
as we met up they were talking to hope's nany, they ddnt seem intrested so i gamed her nan. +brownie points.
we started walking
Fucking hell the journey was soo flipping boring, i genuinely was NOT entertained at all, and was just fluffing, trying to keep the conversation flowing. i would constantly toss leaves towards hope, just for fun, and i picked up stinging nettles instead. charming, now some of my fingers on my left hand is a bit numb.
we got there, her house is well messy. we was gonna watch a film. Charming. Shrek 3.
i wanted a drink, so i walked with her, i kissed her once, then we sorta went to sit down.
we were holding hands and being snuggly and whatever, i kissed her like twice during the film, and after i kissed her for like 10 seconds.
she and sisca (her best mate) had to go cause they were gonna watch that new indiana jones film, i asked if i could get a lift from sisca's parents, etc.
Fucking hell, her parents were RUDE as fuck, if i knew any better they were pikeys. they were soo fucking arrogant, its insane. im not even gonna bother explaining, but i DISLIKE THEM with a passion now. twat.
i met up with steve later, and that sorta cheered me up.
met up with hayden afterwards as well, me and hayden just talked really.
then we met up with hayley and paris. it was allright until paris went:
"oh uve met me before, when you were with sophie, but ur not with sophie anymore, she's with jon, how do you feel now?"
"ehrm, im fine thanks." *shrugs*
wow, proper cunt for rubbing that in.
walked round with hayden for a bit afterwards, then met up with kirsty marks. told her the story, and we just basically fluffed really and talked. then she was gonna drive me home, and she forgot where she parked her car.
we eventually got there, LOL.
meh, idk. i find myself thinking bout sophie more now.
Sucks.
i'll fill ya in later if i speak to sophie.
Today
The weather doesnt look too pleasing. its like dark and cloudy, it looks like its gonna rain any secnond now.
im meeting hope at chafford at 11. with her friend, im probably gonna fuck her to be honest, im not too keen though, for some reason.
there's something holding me back. i have no idea what.
Oh well. im out to fuck. im just not really excited bout it. maybe its the lack of thrill with the whole thing. i mean ive only met this girl like last saturday (Its wednesday today) and she's totally in love with me >__>
Boring.
Talk soon sinful.
im meeting hope at chafford at 11. with her friend, im probably gonna fuck her to be honest, im not too keen though, for some reason.
there's something holding me back. i have no idea what.
Oh well. im out to fuck. im just not really excited bout it. maybe its the lack of thrill with the whole thing. i mean ive only met this girl like last saturday (Its wednesday today) and she's totally in love with me >__>
Boring.
Talk soon sinful.
Tuesday 27 May 2008
Shaken, Not Stirred
Just had an insightful conversation with Sophie, she seems pretty pissed off with me and hope, i tried not rubbing it in but i cudnt resist, lol. i told her that im going round hope's tomorrow. LOL
ahhh, someone's gonna get laid tomorrow. were still flirting atm and shiz, its actually quite intresting.
its funny how sophie's got this mindset that the MAN has to chase the WOMAN,
FUCK OFF.
The WOMAN chases the GODDAMN man.
that's the way it is now.
ahhh, someone's gonna get laid tomorrow. were still flirting atm and shiz, its actually quite intresting.
its funny how sophie's got this mindset that the MAN has to chase the WOMAN,
FUCK OFF.
The WOMAN chases the GODDAMN man.
that's the way it is now.
Monday 26 May 2008
a night NOT to remember.
Ju jitsu in the morning, argued with kirsty moore for a bit. it was pissing down raining, and i ddnt really wanna go southened when its fucking raining.
she said there'll be booze. so okay, changed my mind. dad was nice enough to give me 20 pounds as well. so fair do fair do.
walked to the train station from my house, was quite a good walk.
got to the train, fucking packed.
Met up with them lot, claire, jing jing, kirsty moore and ellaina.
walked around for a bit, until we found a spot near the hill.
not really gonna go into detail, but me and ellaina came back from sainsubries and there was a group that sat next to us.
we asked them if they were 18, they were drinking booze. we chatted them up for a bit, and this kid named james was nice enoguh to buy us booze.
he went, and bought us straight vodka.
we drank like fuck. i think i drank hgalf the bottle, without chasers. the lemonade me and ellaina bought ddnt exactly do anything.
i was pissed outta my head. kirsty moore was laying down, so i kissed her on the lips, then hugged her.
then i kissed her, with tounge =p
i stopped, chatted for a bit, then kissed her again.
the people around me disappeared,they all left me. i stayed with the people we met. they all came back. ray was nowhere to be found, ellaina said he went home, cause if he stayed he wudve punched me.
i was texting sophie as well, majorly pissed. i kept saying i love you.
i cant remember much,there were some chavvy kids that was tryna get hold of kirsty. she disapeared along with claire and jing jing.
ellaina was with me, and we walked to the train station. i was drunk. i knew it. but i was concious.
as we was on the train, i puked. twice. ellaina wasnt too pleased.
i walked home, piss take, that was such a goal, just to get home.
ive got a major hangover today, and its pissing me off. note to self. dont get drunk.
she said there'll be booze. so okay, changed my mind. dad was nice enough to give me 20 pounds as well. so fair do fair do.
walked to the train station from my house, was quite a good walk.
got to the train, fucking packed.
Met up with them lot, claire, jing jing, kirsty moore and ellaina.
walked around for a bit, until we found a spot near the hill.
not really gonna go into detail, but me and ellaina came back from sainsubries and there was a group that sat next to us.
we asked them if they were 18, they were drinking booze. we chatted them up for a bit, and this kid named james was nice enoguh to buy us booze.
he went, and bought us straight vodka.
we drank like fuck. i think i drank hgalf the bottle, without chasers. the lemonade me and ellaina bought ddnt exactly do anything.
i was pissed outta my head. kirsty moore was laying down, so i kissed her on the lips, then hugged her.
then i kissed her, with tounge =p
i stopped, chatted for a bit, then kissed her again.
the people around me disappeared,they all left me. i stayed with the people we met. they all came back. ray was nowhere to be found, ellaina said he went home, cause if he stayed he wudve punched me.
i was texting sophie as well, majorly pissed. i kept saying i love you.
i cant remember much,there were some chavvy kids that was tryna get hold of kirsty. she disapeared along with claire and jing jing.
ellaina was with me, and we walked to the train station. i was drunk. i knew it. but i was concious.
as we was on the train, i puked. twice. ellaina wasnt too pleased.
i walked home, piss take, that was such a goal, just to get home.
ive got a major hangover today, and its pissing me off. note to self. dont get drunk.
Saturday 24 May 2008
LimitBreak
i wasnt feeling too good this morning. last night i had an argument with sophie agian with jon. more on that today as well. Shithead.
anyways got ready and stuff, got the train, and look who it is, sophie on the train as well. we talked for a bit, showed her a few magic tricks. she sat beside me but i moved in front of her to show her my tricks.
anyways i said to her im heading off at east tilbury, and she said she'll tag along cause she cant go with anyone.
Then she saw jake, so she's like "Oh dont worry, i'll go with him"
Fine. lol. walked to demi's house, and moaned about sophie for a bit. to demi+steve
anyways, got to lakeside, went to lake, etc saw sophie+jake having fun, w/e.
anyways, i was with this girl rebecca (not really my target lol) for a few hours, fluffed really and shiz, quite boring lalalalala.
then i saw sophie sitting down with some girl on top of a hill. prolly chatting crap really. they came down, and i saw the same girl (but ddnt really recognize that she was the same girl) looking at me, so i said hello and introduced myself, gamed her a bit and i just found myself stuck with this girl, so many things in common, and im actually having fun. Her name's hope, HB 9. a few flaws, but nothing that isnt acceptable.
basically gamed her, wow. me and her would be sitting down, and doran's group+steve's group etc would like stare at us and i know they're talking bout me etc.
after a few minutes, sophie comes in and says "Hopppe, you're my new best friend!"
so hope chats to her for a few secs, while i continued my story, and sophie tried to join the conversation, and i completely ignored her and just gamed hope.
She fucked off somewhere.
more chatting.
Sophie comes towards us and says that some kid is doing magic.
i watched, ditched hope for a bit.
magicman over, was gaming hope still.
sophie leaving, was gaming hope still. said to her "laters"
gamed hope like mad.
i knew i was in, cause i can hold her hand, and she'd put her arm around me as well.
as we got to the lake bit, i went "oh, nice view isnt it?" and she was like "Yeah.."
and we walked for a bit, and i just went in my head "FUCK IT", stopped her dead on her tracks, pulled her close, and i knew i was in. went in for the kiss.
she was saying something before i kissed her, and i made it fun by kissing her, then asking her "what were you saying again?" as if nothing happened =p im a bad man, seriously.
anyways we was walking in the pavement bit, cause she's in a rush. her mother is in view (in a car) so she stopped, and i kissed her, like a peck sorta thing, then i said goodbye, etc =p
SCORE MOTHERFUCKER. took me like 3 hours actually to game the fuck outta her and K close.
OWNED
anyways got ready and stuff, got the train, and look who it is, sophie on the train as well. we talked for a bit, showed her a few magic tricks. she sat beside me but i moved in front of her to show her my tricks.
anyways i said to her im heading off at east tilbury, and she said she'll tag along cause she cant go with anyone.
Then she saw jake, so she's like "Oh dont worry, i'll go with him"
Fine. lol. walked to demi's house, and moaned about sophie for a bit. to demi+steve
anyways, got to lakeside, went to lake, etc saw sophie+jake having fun, w/e.
anyways, i was with this girl rebecca (not really my target lol) for a few hours, fluffed really and shiz, quite boring lalalalala.
then i saw sophie sitting down with some girl on top of a hill. prolly chatting crap really. they came down, and i saw the same girl (but ddnt really recognize that she was the same girl) looking at me, so i said hello and introduced myself, gamed her a bit and i just found myself stuck with this girl, so many things in common, and im actually having fun. Her name's hope, HB 9. a few flaws, but nothing that isnt acceptable.
basically gamed her, wow. me and her would be sitting down, and doran's group+steve's group etc would like stare at us and i know they're talking bout me etc.
after a few minutes, sophie comes in and says "Hopppe, you're my new best friend!"
so hope chats to her for a few secs, while i continued my story, and sophie tried to join the conversation, and i completely ignored her and just gamed hope.
She fucked off somewhere.
more chatting.
Sophie comes towards us and says that some kid is doing magic.
i watched, ditched hope for a bit.
magicman over, was gaming hope still.
sophie leaving, was gaming hope still. said to her "laters"
gamed hope like mad.
i knew i was in, cause i can hold her hand, and she'd put her arm around me as well.
as we got to the lake bit, i went "oh, nice view isnt it?" and she was like "Yeah.."
and we walked for a bit, and i just went in my head "FUCK IT", stopped her dead on her tracks, pulled her close, and i knew i was in. went in for the kiss.
she was saying something before i kissed her, and i made it fun by kissing her, then asking her "what were you saying again?" as if nothing happened =p im a bad man, seriously.
anyways we was walking in the pavement bit, cause she's in a rush. her mother is in view (in a car) so she stopped, and i kissed her, like a peck sorta thing, then i said goodbye, etc =p
SCORE MOTHERFUCKER. took me like 3 hours actually to game the fuck outta her and K close.
OWNED
Thursday 22 May 2008
Rock night
Was fucking amazing.
Okay, before that:
me and tom got on the stanford bus,and hayley was there. as we got off she texted me saying "oh no hug then?" and i went "oh sorry i'll give you one tomorrow instead"
and she went "you better do xxx".
LOL.
Wow, im actually proper leading her on lol.
Anywho rock night, went round steves first, then hayden's. First played a full drum kit EVER in my life round hayden's, fucking amazinggggggg!
Anywho fucked around for a bit, then me and tom started the long trek to st.cleres. as we got there we sat down for a bit as you cant enter, and jon chart was there. Wooh. hurrah.
anyways, sophie outen was near the window but, Hurrah again!
anyways, ignored that, got in, and she was at the back bit. steve said hi to her and as he came back, he said that sophie said hi. so i came over and said hi and stuff. and she gave me half a hug. lol Fluffed a bit etc, then walked off. i ended the conversation. im fooking alpha.
anywho, we sat down to the left side, and christine+dalton was there as well. sot here's quite a few of us lol.
the rock night was good, there was loadsa good kids playing.
Interval came round, and we were outside, there was a lot of people, and i could see sophie trying to find jon. she's mega flirting with him, Lmao. anyways, interval over and i was walking back when i saw sophie, so i bumped to her with my hip, and she wanted to bump me back, i sort of avoided her lol. anyways we got back in and we moved to the back bit. me and steve slow danced to some of the songs, fucking quality, hahaha!
then they asked us to go up front. we lot raved and shiz, me+steve+tom headbanged LOL. then me and cody sorta did a ballroom dance thing hahaha! i fucking wish sophie was watching lol
anywho Cody sang Naive, and i just went Mental, ive never had so much goosebumps in my life. then tom whispered: "this is such a kick in the face to sophie."
and i realised about naive's lyrics. wow. XD
anyways, me and some peeps would rave, and i saw how jon chart just walked past sophie, LOL.
anyways me and steve slowdanced, w/e. and stuff. lol was semi-gaming the three cute girls there, but ddnt wanna appear to be a paedo.
Anywho, we got asked to go up front, so we jsut basically raved and shiz, and i noticed that sophie was there, so im like "oh hello!" and she completely took my spot. so i pushed her off and said "hey i ddnt say take my spot!" LOl she wasnt quite pleased and i would just dance around raving while she sorta just stood there. i found it quite odd that she wasnt with jon. o_O jon was like a few spaces to my right, and she was to my left. lol. considering they came up front together, i was thinking they wouldve danced together? lmao.
anywho, yeah were raving and stuff, and i would constantly say something sexual towards the singers, etc. it was quite allright, like at the end sophie was like talking to me bout how she's gonna get credit, etc but like i sorta just blanked her off. lol
anywho, fun's over and whatnot and were at the hall bit. she's standing there with a confused face, so i walked over to her and she's like "my phone isnt working". so i offered my phone and she's like "No cause my mum knows your number"
she's such a mug. lol.
anywho they walk off into the moonlight together, him and jon. Fun fun fun.
she then texted me later:
"hope you had lots of fun dearest! X nite!"
i replied with "i did, Ty x "
i mean seriously
we all know that she's trying soo fucking hard to make me jealous, and i think its pissing her off that it doesnt have any affect at all XD i mean YES it does, but if i dont show it, it wont do me any harm hahaha
like right now im not that pissed off even though ive seen them hug and be all over each other etc.
Im fine. i still like her, but if she wants me, she'd have to work her fucking ass off.
You're doing good sinful, just keep it up. step the fuck back, and RELAX. let her do the work.
Okay, before that:
me and tom got on the stanford bus,and hayley was there. as we got off she texted me saying "oh no hug then?" and i went "oh sorry i'll give you one tomorrow instead"
and she went "you better do xxx".
LOL.
Wow, im actually proper leading her on lol.
Anywho rock night, went round steves first, then hayden's. First played a full drum kit EVER in my life round hayden's, fucking amazinggggggg!
Anywho fucked around for a bit, then me and tom started the long trek to st.cleres. as we got there we sat down for a bit as you cant enter, and jon chart was there. Wooh. hurrah.
anyways, sophie outen was near the window but, Hurrah again!
anyways, ignored that, got in, and she was at the back bit. steve said hi to her and as he came back, he said that sophie said hi. so i came over and said hi and stuff. and she gave me half a hug. lol Fluffed a bit etc, then walked off. i ended the conversation. im fooking alpha.
anywho, we sat down to the left side, and christine+dalton was there as well. sot here's quite a few of us lol.
the rock night was good, there was loadsa good kids playing.
Interval came round, and we were outside, there was a lot of people, and i could see sophie trying to find jon. she's mega flirting with him, Lmao. anyways, interval over and i was walking back when i saw sophie, so i bumped to her with my hip, and she wanted to bump me back, i sort of avoided her lol. anyways we got back in and we moved to the back bit. me and steve slow danced to some of the songs, fucking quality, hahaha!
then they asked us to go up front. we lot raved and shiz, me+steve+tom headbanged LOL. then me and cody sorta did a ballroom dance thing hahaha! i fucking wish sophie was watching lol
anywho Cody sang Naive, and i just went Mental, ive never had so much goosebumps in my life. then tom whispered: "this is such a kick in the face to sophie."
and i realised about naive's lyrics. wow. XD
anyways, me and some peeps would rave, and i saw how jon chart just walked past sophie, LOL.
anyways me and steve slowdanced, w/e. and stuff. lol was semi-gaming the three cute girls there, but ddnt wanna appear to be a paedo.
Anywho, we got asked to go up front, so we jsut basically raved and shiz, and i noticed that sophie was there, so im like "oh hello!" and she completely took my spot. so i pushed her off and said "hey i ddnt say take my spot!" LOl she wasnt quite pleased and i would just dance around raving while she sorta just stood there. i found it quite odd that she wasnt with jon. o_O jon was like a few spaces to my right, and she was to my left. lol. considering they came up front together, i was thinking they wouldve danced together? lmao.
anywho, yeah were raving and stuff, and i would constantly say something sexual towards the singers, etc. it was quite allright, like at the end sophie was like talking to me bout how she's gonna get credit, etc but like i sorta just blanked her off. lol
anywho, fun's over and whatnot and were at the hall bit. she's standing there with a confused face, so i walked over to her and she's like "my phone isnt working". so i offered my phone and she's like "No cause my mum knows your number"
she's such a mug. lol.
anywho they walk off into the moonlight together, him and jon. Fun fun fun.
she then texted me later:
"hope you had lots of fun dearest! X nite!"
i replied with "i did, Ty x "
i mean seriously
we all know that she's trying soo fucking hard to make me jealous, and i think its pissing her off that it doesnt have any affect at all XD i mean YES it does, but if i dont show it, it wont do me any harm hahaha
like right now im not that pissed off even though ive seen them hug and be all over each other etc.
Im fine. i still like her, but if she wants me, she'd have to work her fucking ass off.
You're doing good sinful, just keep it up. step the fuck back, and RELAX. let her do the work.
Wednesday 21 May 2008
oh forgot to mention?
Two days ago, i went town. the basic story is that i sat down in the bus, these school girls straight from school just came on the bus, 3 of them. 2 sat in front of me, one behind me.
throughout the bus journey the 2 girls would ask the single girl to sit next to me.
three times they did it. on the third time i gave them the "its okay, im not diseased!" look.
anyways, i got off the bus, and as i got off, these three girls practically banged on the window just to wave to me, LOL.
Anyways, the same thing happened yesterday, though i gave them a smirk instead as they got on the bus. and as i got off i knew they stared at me, but i pretended not to notice.
im basically pulling girls left and right, im busy with hayley, kirsty moore, and other shitlot of girls really, i cannot manage them all to be quite fucking honest.
KRISTY as well, fucking hell.
anyways, Sophie outen, ahh that dear girl. i talked to her again today, wow. im actually not pissed off anymore,a nd at the end of the day, it'll always be her loss that she's not mine.
For now, RELAX. Step back.
as for hayley, well im sorta like.. just playing her now, lol. like i cant bear to stand it when people see us together. ewww.
and like, i dont know, i just dont want her round, like it wudve been allright if she was funny, but she really isnt. lol.
throughout the bus journey the 2 girls would ask the single girl to sit next to me.
three times they did it. on the third time i gave them the "its okay, im not diseased!" look.
anyways, i got off the bus, and as i got off, these three girls practically banged on the window just to wave to me, LOL.
Anyways, the same thing happened yesterday, though i gave them a smirk instead as they got on the bus. and as i got off i knew they stared at me, but i pretended not to notice.
im basically pulling girls left and right, im busy with hayley, kirsty moore, and other shitlot of girls really, i cannot manage them all to be quite fucking honest.
KRISTY as well, fucking hell.
anyways, Sophie outen, ahh that dear girl. i talked to her again today, wow. im actually not pissed off anymore,a nd at the end of the day, it'll always be her loss that she's not mine.
For now, RELAX. Step back.
as for hayley, well im sorta like.. just playing her now, lol. like i cant bear to stand it when people see us together. ewww.
and like, i dont know, i just dont want her round, like it wudve been allright if she was funny, but she really isnt. lol.
Tuesday 20 May 2008
Hayley Rogers
Wow. how easy can this get.
Yesterday i was gonna ask her out.
i totally fucked her over.
i said something like "well i was gonna ask you out, but you're not over alex.."
and just basically left it there. asked her best mate what she thought etc. she seemed quite esctatic lol
Today, she texted me saying that she felt the same way towards me, bit of fluff here and there, etc.
Held her hand, w/e. walked her to lesson. pretended to brag about her towards my mates.
Simple, Simple. i would constantly walk away from her like she's nothing.
Like today in business, i walked in the computer room, ignored her even though she was staring at me, etc. talked to the teacher, acknowledge that her best mate was there, but ddnt really talk to her. then i walked off. and as i walked round the corner i could see her hesitating to run up and talk to me.
Too bad, lost your chance.
Wow. Exhilerating. Seriously. Knowing that someone out there fucking loves you, and you dont even give a rat's ass about them, its INSANE.
Sinful, you're the man. LOL pulled in like what, half a day? she's totally in love hahahahah
Yesterday i was gonna ask her out.
i totally fucked her over.
i said something like "well i was gonna ask you out, but you're not over alex.."
and just basically left it there. asked her best mate what she thought etc. she seemed quite esctatic lol
Today, she texted me saying that she felt the same way towards me, bit of fluff here and there, etc.
Held her hand, w/e. walked her to lesson. pretended to brag about her towards my mates.
Simple, Simple. i would constantly walk away from her like she's nothing.
Like today in business, i walked in the computer room, ignored her even though she was staring at me, etc. talked to the teacher, acknowledge that her best mate was there, but ddnt really talk to her. then i walked off. and as i walked round the corner i could see her hesitating to run up and talk to me.
Too bad, lost your chance.
Wow. Exhilerating. Seriously. Knowing that someone out there fucking loves you, and you dont even give a rat's ass about them, its INSANE.
Sinful, you're the man. LOL pulled in like what, half a day? she's totally in love hahahahah
Thursday 15 May 2008
Steve Lawes
Is the man.
http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54931&highlight=girlfriend&page=3
http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=60233&highlight=girlfriend
are two pages that explain how i shouldve done.
"Remember how Hilary Clinton reacted to finding out that Bill Clinton had an affair? She remained so calm and composed. She became so inspiring to women and men alike. She played the politics so damn geniously. Her frame was so fucking strong during this time that the entire United States considered her the ideal role model for wifes and families. What could have been a disaster for her frame, got turned into a HUGE DHV. She manipulated his mistake to be advantagous to her frame. fucking amazing.. I'll never forget how she handled it. "
one word: DHV. By showing that i dont care, i am being more attractive =D
Logical, huh? the answer was right in my damn face. i hope its not too late to reframe!
http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54931&highlight=girlfriend&page=3
http://www.theattractionforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=60233&highlight=girlfriend
are two pages that explain how i shouldve done.
"Remember how Hilary Clinton reacted to finding out that Bill Clinton had an affair? She remained so calm and composed. She became so inspiring to women and men alike. She played the politics so damn geniously. Her frame was so fucking strong during this time that the entire United States considered her the ideal role model for wifes and families. What could have been a disaster for her frame, got turned into a HUGE DHV. She manipulated his mistake to be advantagous to her frame. fucking amazing.. I'll never forget how she handled it. "
one word: DHV. By showing that i dont care, i am being more attractive =D
Logical, huh? the answer was right in my damn face. i hope its not too late to reframe!
Wednesday 14 May 2008
Reasonable.
Today has actually been quite odd.
i had a 5 minute "Sophie" moment earlier before i went to take a shower, kinda hard to ignore tbh.
Anywho, yeah got dressed etc and whatnot. got to college, w/e. started the day allright.
Break time came, i felt alpha, but not as alpha as ive been before. im trying to hold eye contact with girls more often now, and smile while im at it. quite entertaining actually, these cute girls would just stare at me, and i'd stare at them back, i would break the ice by poking my tongue out or waving to them, or smiling. =D
like as i was sitting on the bus ride home, these year 10/11 kids got on, there were 3 of them, and 2 of them sat in front of me and one of them sat behind me. those in fornt of me kept forcing that other girl to sit on the other end of the aisle, across them. she wouldnt. they moved to the seat across mine, and they're now forcing her to sit next to me, i gave them the "oh, am i sort of diseased?" look +Smirk. i wanted to be CnF, but i ddnt really have time so i ddnt bother.
I got off the bus, and the two girls Hysterically tapped on the glass for my attention, i waved slightly to acknowledge them.
Ahh, feels good to be able to pull =D
Sidenote: im trying to work well in psychology and on my games for my xbox 360, i got Devil may cry 4 today and Dark Sector =D
Still ignoring sophie. Slut. =D
i had a 5 minute "Sophie" moment earlier before i went to take a shower, kinda hard to ignore tbh.
Anywho, yeah got dressed etc and whatnot. got to college, w/e. started the day allright.
Break time came, i felt alpha, but not as alpha as ive been before. im trying to hold eye contact with girls more often now, and smile while im at it. quite entertaining actually, these cute girls would just stare at me, and i'd stare at them back, i would break the ice by poking my tongue out or waving to them, or smiling. =D
like as i was sitting on the bus ride home, these year 10/11 kids got on, there were 3 of them, and 2 of them sat in front of me and one of them sat behind me. those in fornt of me kept forcing that other girl to sit on the other end of the aisle, across them. she wouldnt. they moved to the seat across mine, and they're now forcing her to sit next to me, i gave them the "oh, am i sort of diseased?" look +Smirk. i wanted to be CnF, but i ddnt really have time so i ddnt bother.
I got off the bus, and the two girls Hysterically tapped on the glass for my attention, i waved slightly to acknowledge them.
Ahh, feels good to be able to pull =D
Sidenote: im trying to work well in psychology and on my games for my xbox 360, i got Devil may cry 4 today and Dark Sector =D
Still ignoring sophie. Slut. =D
Monday 12 May 2008
Shit.
Today was crap.
Suuureee i had the bragging rights.
i got on kirsty marks yesterday, t'was awesome.
I mean, metaphorically, if you get a girl's number, that's like 20 Points to your Ego.
if you get on her, that's like 100 points.
But what about the bonuses?
She's been going out with her boyfriend for 2 years.
+500 points. i Forced her to cheat.
not done yet, she's cheated on him THREE TIMES with me.
+2000 points.
2,620 ego points rewarded.
and im still not over that god forsakened BITCH.
Time is not on my side, even though i need it badly. I dislike not being able to have control.
I tried so hard Sarging today, two cold approaches, Two fails.
time isnt on my side at all, but i believe in time, hopefully it wont screw me over.
i decided not to talk to sophie ever again. if she talks to me, i'll talk but i'll be a dickhead
Suuureee i had the bragging rights.
i got on kirsty marks yesterday, t'was awesome.
I mean, metaphorically, if you get a girl's number, that's like 20 Points to your Ego.
if you get on her, that's like 100 points.
But what about the bonuses?
She's been going out with her boyfriend for 2 years.
+500 points. i Forced her to cheat.
not done yet, she's cheated on him THREE TIMES with me.
+2000 points.
2,620 ego points rewarded.
and im still not over that god forsakened BITCH.
Time is not on my side, even though i need it badly. I dislike not being able to have control.
I tried so hard Sarging today, two cold approaches, Two fails.
time isnt on my side at all, but i believe in time, hopefully it wont screw me over.
i decided not to talk to sophie ever again. if she talks to me, i'll talk but i'll be a dickhead
Saturday 10 May 2008
matt Rogers
"Try not to think about it too much at least. Then it means she has moved on. All I'm saying is... She's still there inside you. And you're taking your time to get over it. You seem like a caring person to me, and when you try I don't think it'll be too long till you get with someone else. And you'll put all your heart into it I'm sure. She just wants someone to feel the empty space, because she knows that you gave her the time of her life and now she can't stand being alone."
Matt you're a legend, cause you've cracked it already. Sophie's trying to make you jealous sub conciously. she wants you, and wants to see if you still care.
if you do still care, it'll give her the "haha i have jay as my fall back" idea. if you show that you dont care (but are friends with her) it'll show that you're the bigger man and has completely moved on.
be the bigger man, move on and look for other girls, if you dont want a relationship with that person, just get on them and fuck them, it doesnt matter
Matt you're a legend, cause you've cracked it already. Sophie's trying to make you jealous sub conciously. she wants you, and wants to see if you still care.
if you do still care, it'll give her the "haha i have jay as my fall back" idea. if you show that you dont care (but are friends with her) it'll show that you're the bigger man and has completely moved on.
be the bigger man, move on and look for other girls, if you dont want a relationship with that person, just get on them and fuck them, it doesnt matter
Bout le bitch again
went round demi's for the day, met emma goldsmith as well.
s'all good. until we just sat at the lake and stuff.
I met new people really. nailed number closes, quite easy really to be quite honest.
Anywho onto sophieos, cause she's the main part of my day:
it basically was fine. she was talking to becca and other randomers and shiz bout me probably, pissess me off really.
i decided to talk to her as i walked past. it was kinda awkard. more like a "are you ok? " "yeah im ok..." "are you sure?" "yeah im sure" sorta thing.
i pulled her close to hug her. she hugged me back.
then some twat screamed out "JOHN'S HEREEE!!!" to sophie.
Twat.
anywho, us lot just sat down, and i basically owned the group. Hooked 2 girls in, and another's my pivot. the people that came afterwards just fell into place, including them two.
me and john were fucking around, putting stuff into bottles and putting water in, then drinking it. (LOL)
i saw sophie take her wristband off.
anywho, we talked again, i asked her if she wanted to talk, she said yes but ddnt know where and shit. we talked anyways, on the lake part.
wasnt quite pleasing, we talked and shiz, and i hugged her. lots of people were staring at us from one side of the lake. nosey gits. i hugged her, aimed for a kiss to deliver the "sorry im not jon chart" line
Ddnt work, she refused.
she wanted to go. so i called her a bitch.
it was basically hell after that. seeing them hug each other etc.
okay, i gotta admit i was well upset and ddnt know what to do. i mean i tried to game these 2 girls that i started gaming earlier. it was allright for a few minutes, then they noticed that i wasnt myself.
I # closed both of them.
after that me emma and april walked to the train station. we sat down, and people started coming and stuff. i asked emma to ask sophie if we can talk. she ddnt reply but went off with john.
okay, here's the goodpart:
i spoke to richard palmer, the man, the LEGEND. he's technically my idol now.
anyways, he basically said that sophie's just hiding it. He knows that she still likes me. it shows. he said that he can see it from his point of view, breaking a lot of hearts and shit, he can see it. he says that she's just covering it up.
this gave me a new perception in life. Screwing people over by their own game.
I decided, that im gonna be friends with sophie, just to give her the "void."
this void is the gap between us two, whereas we were so close before, that i'll constantly try and pull away everytime i get closer to her. the "you're so close to me, yet you're so far away" effect.
I mean seriously, why would she tell me bout all this crap "oh he's so shy" and whatnot bout Jon? what is the point? what would she want me to say? she's filling me in, cause she wants me to be jealous.
Tough, cause its not gonna work. you know why? cause i figured her out.
I mean, ive been speaking to matt rogers as well, fucking hell this guy is clever.
Seriously, After 10 months, she's looking for someone to fill that void that i left her in.
John chart is trying to fill the gap, but ive left some big shoes to fill.
and having me on the side living my life will just make it more intresting for sophie outen.
She said earlier she took off her wristband cause she wanted to cut herself badly cause we werent talking. this was when she took her wristband off. this is where i got the idea.
The way im gonna handle things right now is that:
were friends, but i'll show no affection whatsoever, no <3, X or whatever.
I wont see her, like just us 2.
I WILL give her a proper hug, just to trigger back memories and butterflies for her.
Less is more.
I will give her no cluse as to who im going out with unless she asks. this way she stabs herself in the foot.
basically
the game plan is:
were friends, but i'll give her the lesser minimum. She is your past jay, get over it. i will FUCK a shit lot of girls, and i promise to give at least one blog input every week.
i also plan on getting my phone book heavier, get their numbers motherfucker. if she tries to give descriptions bout her and jon, leave it and just say "Idk lol". or "talk to eden."
Listen to me fucking carefully, the more you ask about jon and her, the more you'll get hurt. it wont do you any good at all.
move on, and FUCK mate. just move on.
s'all good. until we just sat at the lake and stuff.
I met new people really. nailed number closes, quite easy really to be quite honest.
Anywho onto sophieos, cause she's the main part of my day:
it basically was fine. she was talking to becca and other randomers and shiz bout me probably, pissess me off really.
i decided to talk to her as i walked past. it was kinda awkard. more like a "are you ok? " "yeah im ok..." "are you sure?" "yeah im sure" sorta thing.
i pulled her close to hug her. she hugged me back.
then some twat screamed out "JOHN'S HEREEE!!!" to sophie.
Twat.
anywho, us lot just sat down, and i basically owned the group. Hooked 2 girls in, and another's my pivot. the people that came afterwards just fell into place, including them two.
me and john were fucking around, putting stuff into bottles and putting water in, then drinking it. (LOL)
i saw sophie take her wristband off.
anywho, we talked again, i asked her if she wanted to talk, she said yes but ddnt know where and shit. we talked anyways, on the lake part.
wasnt quite pleasing, we talked and shiz, and i hugged her. lots of people were staring at us from one side of the lake. nosey gits. i hugged her, aimed for a kiss to deliver the "sorry im not jon chart" line
Ddnt work, she refused.
she wanted to go. so i called her a bitch.
it was basically hell after that. seeing them hug each other etc.
okay, i gotta admit i was well upset and ddnt know what to do. i mean i tried to game these 2 girls that i started gaming earlier. it was allright for a few minutes, then they noticed that i wasnt myself.
I # closed both of them.
after that me emma and april walked to the train station. we sat down, and people started coming and stuff. i asked emma to ask sophie if we can talk. she ddnt reply but went off with john.
okay, here's the goodpart:
i spoke to richard palmer, the man, the LEGEND. he's technically my idol now.
anyways, he basically said that sophie's just hiding it. He knows that she still likes me. it shows. he said that he can see it from his point of view, breaking a lot of hearts and shit, he can see it. he says that she's just covering it up.
this gave me a new perception in life. Screwing people over by their own game.
I decided, that im gonna be friends with sophie, just to give her the "void."
this void is the gap between us two, whereas we were so close before, that i'll constantly try and pull away everytime i get closer to her. the "you're so close to me, yet you're so far away" effect.
I mean seriously, why would she tell me bout all this crap "oh he's so shy" and whatnot bout Jon? what is the point? what would she want me to say? she's filling me in, cause she wants me to be jealous.
Tough, cause its not gonna work. you know why? cause i figured her out.
I mean, ive been speaking to matt rogers as well, fucking hell this guy is clever.
Seriously, After 10 months, she's looking for someone to fill that void that i left her in.
John chart is trying to fill the gap, but ive left some big shoes to fill.
and having me on the side living my life will just make it more intresting for sophie outen.
She said earlier she took off her wristband cause she wanted to cut herself badly cause we werent talking. this was when she took her wristband off. this is where i got the idea.
The way im gonna handle things right now is that:
were friends, but i'll show no affection whatsoever, no <3, X or whatever.
I wont see her, like just us 2.
I WILL give her a proper hug, just to trigger back memories and butterflies for her.
Less is more.
I will give her no cluse as to who im going out with unless she asks. this way she stabs herself in the foot.
basically
the game plan is:
were friends, but i'll give her the lesser minimum. She is your past jay, get over it. i will FUCK a shit lot of girls, and i promise to give at least one blog input every week.
i also plan on getting my phone book heavier, get their numbers motherfucker. if she tries to give descriptions bout her and jon, leave it and just say "Idk lol". or "talk to eden."
Listen to me fucking carefully, the more you ask about jon and her, the more you'll get hurt. it wont do you any good at all.
move on, and FUCK mate. just move on.
Friday 9 May 2008
Sophie this and Sophie that.
Yawn.
just a summary really:
We argued, well not really. i was being a dickhead to her and just rubbing everything in.
No need to get into details, not worth it.
anyways how was my day?
PIMPIN'. =D
this girl who really fancied me from before said that im really really good looking. Not sexy or whatever, but REALLY REALLY good looking. haha =D i was quite flattered, and i ddnt know how to turn it around. well if i was ready for that, then i cudve done a comeback =D
but anyways, that cheered me up. and i spoke to a few other girls about it, they quite agreed, they say i had nice features, specially the baby face and cheek structure. they said im the sex <3
as if i ddnt know that, but its nice for reassurance.
Btw, i make sure i walk around with a different girl clinging to my arm now. SOCIAL PROOOF BABY!
oh and how's this for a laugh, i was Semi-gaming this girl, and she was throwing all my negs back at me, it was typically a battle, and my Pivot (layla) just happened to walk past and just hugged me from behind+ kiss from the cheek.
Oooooh. BOYD.
=D
im gonna look soo fucking hot tomorrow, in your face sophie.this is what ur losing out on.
i hope jess isnt a nutter, if she is i'd have to spend my time with demi/amy/emma goldsmith instead. =D
just a summary really:
We argued, well not really. i was being a dickhead to her and just rubbing everything in.
No need to get into details, not worth it.
anyways how was my day?
PIMPIN'. =D
this girl who really fancied me from before said that im really really good looking. Not sexy or whatever, but REALLY REALLY good looking. haha =D i was quite flattered, and i ddnt know how to turn it around. well if i was ready for that, then i cudve done a comeback =D
but anyways, that cheered me up. and i spoke to a few other girls about it, they quite agreed, they say i had nice features, specially the baby face and cheek structure. they said im the sex <3
as if i ddnt know that, but its nice for reassurance.
Btw, i make sure i walk around with a different girl clinging to my arm now. SOCIAL PROOOF BABY!
oh and how's this for a laugh, i was Semi-gaming this girl, and she was throwing all my negs back at me, it was typically a battle, and my Pivot (layla) just happened to walk past and just hugged me from behind+ kiss from the cheek.
Oooooh. BOYD.
=D
im gonna look soo fucking hot tomorrow, in your face sophie.this is what ur losing out on.
i hope jess isnt a nutter, if she is i'd have to spend my time with demi/amy/emma goldsmith instead. =D
Wednesday 7 May 2008
Sod it mate!
Lmao, sophie's contradicting herself, so like i spoke to her for a bit, only because she spoke to me first and shiz.
but anyways, basically she said she still loves me (after all the crap she talked bout)
but it doesnt make sense that she's still flirting with john chart.
aye?
anywho, fuck that. who cares aye?
Im gonna fuck either kirsty, Hayley, or kristy. kristy seems like a good bet atm, were already talking bout what were gonna do when we meet up *winks*
and u know what, i AM the man. ive accomplished things, ive done that speech in front of 300 people, got a standing ovation and the news spread throughout college.
you're a fucking magician JAY, what are u ashamed about, go perform!
but anyways, basically she said she still loves me (after all the crap she talked bout)
but it doesnt make sense that she's still flirting with john chart.
aye?
anywho, fuck that. who cares aye?
Im gonna fuck either kirsty, Hayley, or kristy. kristy seems like a good bet atm, were already talking bout what were gonna do when we meet up *winks*
and u know what, i AM the man. ive accomplished things, ive done that speech in front of 300 people, got a standing ovation and the news spread throughout college.
you're a fucking magician JAY, what are u ashamed about, go perform!
Things.
Things have been so fucked up to be quite honest, no one has ever made me feel that way, i had the comfort of having that HB 11 around my arm, fucking her and having a great time with her.
Gone.
As wispy said, step out of your comfort zone.
As Tom said, Its been a good run.
and as Emmanuel said, Be a dickhead. if she wanted me back that badly she wouldve waited for me to change my mind.
Today was excruciating. i woke up feeling horrible, i denied the fact that i was depressed. i got ready and went downstairs. i was 10 minutes earlier than the usual time i go out of the house. i was so depressed. i picked up the kitchen knife and looked at it carefully, the edge of it, i could feel it piercing the side of my leg, i wanted to self harm, on my leg. so tha tno one could see. i dropped the knife.
I picked it up again.
I dropped it and broke down.
I called Demi up. talked to her, she calmed me for a bit, and said that sophie aint worth it.
She isnt. Whore.
i left my house feeling depressed. shuffling a pack of cards again.
i got to the bus stop. was still shuffling, little conversation between people.
i threw my whole pack of cards away.
got on the bus, i cried. she really is a whore for making me feel this way.
i was allright, thanks to kirsty.
got to college, i felt so alone even though im amidst a shit lot of people.
a lot of people noticed what's up. they said cheer up, they never really suceeded. i went to my first lesson, i was so depressed. even my teacher noticed it. i nearly broke down in tears. this twat i thought before, that has no feelings, actually cared about me. i tried cutting myself with my house keys, god it felt nice to feel the pain, i stopped mid way, and it ended up swelling instead.
I went to my next lesson, it was psychology, and we had a mock exam. i didnt do very well. i had too many things on my mind, specially sophie.
there was a 15 minute break after the exam, and i spoke to emmanuel.
He's the man.
I spoke to him about a lot of things, he related to me. sophie didnt play me, he said. he said that we played a game, and she won. that's how i should see things.
Okay, makes sense. i also suggested "less is more."
less talking, is better than talking a lot. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP JAY ALLRIGHT? STOP NAGGING HER ABOUT "US" and just move the fuck on. he said i should be a dickhead to her. i should be really to be quite honest, she became a whore, and she's hurt me so bad.
I told him, that once you give that girl an opening, and you're vulnerable, she hits you so hard, you dont even know that you got hit until its over. Hoe's are Sneaky bitches. Sneaky ass'ed BITCHES.
Now, im just going to sit back, live my life, and fuck any girl that comes along. No relationships whatsoever. I'll be a dickhead to sophie, i'll be friends with her, but not affectionate or anything
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe.
Gone.
As wispy said, step out of your comfort zone.
As Tom said, Its been a good run.
and as Emmanuel said, Be a dickhead. if she wanted me back that badly she wouldve waited for me to change my mind.
Today was excruciating. i woke up feeling horrible, i denied the fact that i was depressed. i got ready and went downstairs. i was 10 minutes earlier than the usual time i go out of the house. i was so depressed. i picked up the kitchen knife and looked at it carefully, the edge of it, i could feel it piercing the side of my leg, i wanted to self harm, on my leg. so tha tno one could see. i dropped the knife.
I picked it up again.
I dropped it and broke down.
I called Demi up. talked to her, she calmed me for a bit, and said that sophie aint worth it.
She isnt. Whore.
i left my house feeling depressed. shuffling a pack of cards again.
i got to the bus stop. was still shuffling, little conversation between people.
i threw my whole pack of cards away.
got on the bus, i cried. she really is a whore for making me feel this way.
i was allright, thanks to kirsty.
got to college, i felt so alone even though im amidst a shit lot of people.
a lot of people noticed what's up. they said cheer up, they never really suceeded. i went to my first lesson, i was so depressed. even my teacher noticed it. i nearly broke down in tears. this twat i thought before, that has no feelings, actually cared about me. i tried cutting myself with my house keys, god it felt nice to feel the pain, i stopped mid way, and it ended up swelling instead.
I went to my next lesson, it was psychology, and we had a mock exam. i didnt do very well. i had too many things on my mind, specially sophie.
there was a 15 minute break after the exam, and i spoke to emmanuel.
He's the man.
I spoke to him about a lot of things, he related to me. sophie didnt play me, he said. he said that we played a game, and she won. that's how i should see things.
Okay, makes sense. i also suggested "less is more."
less talking, is better than talking a lot. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP JAY ALLRIGHT? STOP NAGGING HER ABOUT "US" and just move the fuck on. he said i should be a dickhead to her. i should be really to be quite honest, she became a whore, and she's hurt me so bad.
I told him, that once you give that girl an opening, and you're vulnerable, she hits you so hard, you dont even know that you got hit until its over. Hoe's are Sneaky bitches. Sneaky ass'ed BITCHES.
Now, im just going to sit back, live my life, and fuck any girl that comes along. No relationships whatsoever. I'll be a dickhead to sophie, i'll be friends with her, but not affectionate or anything
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe.
Tuesday 6 May 2008
FINAL DESCICION
Called tom up, and we talked for a bit, mainly about me and sophie. he said that everyone's been through this, where i thought we'd be together forever and shit. but yeah, its not working out, so its time for me to move on. i will remember the memories, but like in what seduction forums said, remember it, then forget about it for the next minute. think back and reflect at your mistakes.
its true what tom said. she's had her chance. a shitload of it. i wanted her back. i regretted things.
this is what i told her: (word for word)
Dont worry bout "us" anymore. People have convinced me to move on. Just like hw ur bestmate did. I loved you so much. and it frickin hurts that u like someone else while you love me as you said. I will always remember that kiss when it was raining. weve had a good run, and ive given you a chance to come back. Looks like its time to move on 4 me. and u shud move on too.
her: You made yourself clear the text before where i stand. but im here if you need to talk. you will be in my heart forever, dont worry im here.
my reply: my last txt, i meant that. its my final descicion. c u.
God that was fucking hard.she gave me mixed signals.
Fucking bitches.
its over now.
Look elsewhere cause you're done with me.
Fuck what i said, it dont mean shit now.
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
fuck all those kissess it ddnt mean jack, fuck you you hoe,
I DONT WANT YOU BACK.
its true what tom said. she's had her chance. a shitload of it. i wanted her back. i regretted things.
this is what i told her: (word for word)
Dont worry bout "us" anymore. People have convinced me to move on. Just like hw ur bestmate did. I loved you so much. and it frickin hurts that u like someone else while you love me as you said. I will always remember that kiss when it was raining. weve had a good run, and ive given you a chance to come back. Looks like its time to move on 4 me. and u shud move on too.
her: You made yourself clear the text before where i stand. but im here if you need to talk. you will be in my heart forever, dont worry im here.
my reply: my last txt, i meant that. its my final descicion. c u.
God that was fucking hard.she gave me mixed signals.
Fucking bitches.
its over now.
Look elsewhere cause you're done with me.
Fuck what i said, it dont mean shit now.
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
fuck all those kissess it ddnt mean jack, fuck you you hoe,
I DONT WANT YOU BACK.
Today
i talked to sophie in the morning today, we deicded yesterday that emo hearts would be equivalent to "i love you"
She sent quite a few to me, knowing that i sent a few back.
It hurts me to see her not wearing the stuff that i gave her, like the necklace and stuff. hmm. odd. why am i still in love with her?
anyways, more on that later.
i spoke to her mum a bit, said happy birthday and stuff, we chatted for a bit, then she mentioned that she's my worst nightmare (in a joking manner)
Funny, lol. i actually like her now, lmao.
anyways, yeah i was flirting with everyone today, i got a lot of kissess in the cheek, none for the lips. i tried it on hayley, ddnt quite work. i think im gonna have to ask someone out first. i think i'll ask her out this week or next week. just to fuck her.
asking out is AFC, what the fuck am i thinking. no to asking out. just pull a move.
i also asked hayden yesterday to keep an eye out for john and sophie, like if they're getting on each other etc. i told sophie i was quite angry that she got over me quite quickly, but she said that she isnt over me yet. she's embarrassed bout what happened (her getting on him etc) and like she's lost many friends and stuff.
Serves you right, bitch.
Anyways, she said she was sorry for it as well.
she said she's avoiding the subject because she's confused.
anyways, today in college, i felt like a pimp =D bit of kino on ashleigh, u know, the works. kino on Hayley as well. im doing gooood. =D Rejected though with hayley (aimed for a kiss, well asked, fucking hell im really an AFC now)
Sidenote the day was good, i was quite cheerful knowing that i could get on anyone.
...
Sorry, just had a flash of memory, that kiss i shared with sophie yesterday was so special tbh, it gives me well bad butterflies. i just had it right now, my stomach feels heavy and my knees feel weak =/
ive never kissed her like that before.
anyways yeah, she's going to celine dion today, so my plan is to make as much involvement as possible, like asking tom/luke to talk to her and stuff, so that when she hears all this emotional shit she'll be thinking of me (Y)
I hope. i hope she thinks of me and not john, lol.
if something happens i will edit this (Y)
Peace out sinful.
She sent quite a few to me, knowing that i sent a few back.
It hurts me to see her not wearing the stuff that i gave her, like the necklace and stuff. hmm. odd. why am i still in love with her?
anyways, more on that later.
i spoke to her mum a bit, said happy birthday and stuff, we chatted for a bit, then she mentioned that she's my worst nightmare (in a joking manner)
Funny, lol. i actually like her now, lmao.
anyways, yeah i was flirting with everyone today, i got a lot of kissess in the cheek, none for the lips. i tried it on hayley, ddnt quite work. i think im gonna have to ask someone out first. i think i'll ask her out this week or next week. just to fuck her.
asking out is AFC, what the fuck am i thinking. no to asking out. just pull a move.
i also asked hayden yesterday to keep an eye out for john and sophie, like if they're getting on each other etc. i told sophie i was quite angry that she got over me quite quickly, but she said that she isnt over me yet. she's embarrassed bout what happened (her getting on him etc) and like she's lost many friends and stuff.
Serves you right, bitch.
Anyways, she said she was sorry for it as well.
she said she's avoiding the subject because she's confused.
anyways, today in college, i felt like a pimp =D bit of kino on ashleigh, u know, the works. kino on Hayley as well. im doing gooood. =D Rejected though with hayley (aimed for a kiss, well asked, fucking hell im really an AFC now)
Sidenote the day was good, i was quite cheerful knowing that i could get on anyone.
...
Sorry, just had a flash of memory, that kiss i shared with sophie yesterday was so special tbh, it gives me well bad butterflies. i just had it right now, my stomach feels heavy and my knees feel weak =/
ive never kissed her like that before.
anyways yeah, she's going to celine dion today, so my plan is to make as much involvement as possible, like asking tom/luke to talk to her and stuff, so that when she hears all this emotional shit she'll be thinking of me (Y)
I hope. i hope she thinks of me and not john, lol.
if something happens i will edit this (Y)
Peace out sinful.
Monday 5 May 2008
ahh today
Well i left my house today, cluthing three pages of memories worth that i was going to give to sophie outen.
i was pissed off and upset. not a good combination. Bus ride to mcdonalds, walked to train station.
Perfect, i had 5 minutes to get a ticket.
Surprise, a fucking gigantic queue.
i politely asked the guy in front of me if i could jump the queue cause im in a rush, he refuses and says he's in a rush as well. (3 minutes left)
pensioner up front frickin buying a monthly pass, jesus fucking christ.
its 5 past now. 12:05. the train has come, i told him to give me the ticket and keep the change.
Ran like fuck. i just made it. it got to stanford le-hope, and sophie outen was there with eddy-fuck-whorebag.
i waited for another stop. lee and some guy who i disliked got on the train, and eden and sophie met them
i gathered up the guts to go upto her and ask her if we can talk.
it wasnt very nice. tearful and stuff. upsetting x. talked bout stuff really,i cant remember, it was too emotional. i cried halfway through. we held hands every now and then.
we got off the train, and stopped for a bit. just like hugged and stuff. i kissed her at that time, and it felt awkward. but reassuring. she was getting annoyed, so she wanted to go back to her friends.
my heart was thumping ever since i saw her. i left now, and waited for steve and such to come, it was exactly an hour and 45 minutes till they come. and i waited patiently. trying to find reasons why i shouldnt kill myself. finding everything relates back to her. carrying around that folder.... that has stuff in it. things that she would write stuff in to show her love to me.
it was horrible. carrying it around whilst walking. i couldnt focus at all.
steve+demi+jeff (new dood) came, we chatted for a bit. mostly bout me+sophie and shiz.
i wanted to burn that folder. they said she kissed john chart. (some emo twat) yesterday when she was drunk. and he was really drunk as well.
anyways more on that later:
we met up with them, and i couldnt breathe properly when i was going to the lake, i could see a pink thing wrapped around a black thing, and i assumed it was sophie sitting on john's lap and they were getting on each other. i couldnt breathe at all. my heart was pounding. i thought i was gonna faint. i looked closer and turned to a corner, to see sophie smiling and looking at the sunlight, john nowhere in sight.
i calmed down. then i saw lee and eden. my heart raced. if that bitch said anytthing harsh i would beat her down to 3 feet, oh wait, someone beat me to it. i would beat her down smaller and throw her to the lake. and his emo boyfriend as well. Fucking twat.
me and sophie talked things for ages in the lake. ages. and i mean ages. we talked stuff. bout john. it went indepth. that she really ddnt love him as she loved me, she just got on him for the fun of it. she'll probably say yes if john asks her out, but i dont think it'll last long.
Eden and Lee left.
we kissed. a lot of times. hugged, held hands. it was so special.
anyways, she just basically wants to be friends for now. cause her parents had gotten into her (couldnt blame her) and her best mate is pulling away and stuff and shiz.
its fine. we decided to be friends for now, but we both agreed that we will try again in the future. im fine by that!
she said we cant kiss anymore in public and stuff, but we can whenever were alone. which is a good thing.
She said she loves me and that's all that matters.
LOL.
i got you there ddnt i, i told myself that i'd be a PUA. and i WILL.
pua part:
the plan is, shag a shitlot of girls, until sophie is ready to be back out with me.
Stop.
no, im not waiting for her to come back if at the time when she's ready for a relationship and im free, then we'll give it another go. =D
i also realised how good a person steve really is. Steve is a really good friend. when eden and steve were going out, i cant believe i was neutral and helped eden cope.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE
ahh, tourettes kicking in again. she is actually such a fucking cunt. for so many reasons. she manipulated sophie into doing stuff that she doesnt want to do. like saying stuff and shit. she is a cunt. basically.
if i could stab someone right now, besides my real dad, i would stab eden dare. and possibly lee.
anyways, i hope lee catches genital warts. i apologise lee, ur a good friend but for going out with a whore like her? LOL.
Demi is a good person as well, but things havent been going well with her and steve atm, apparantly.
Catch you soon Sinful. (decided on talking on a 3rd person perspective now.)
i was pissed off and upset. not a good combination. Bus ride to mcdonalds, walked to train station.
Perfect, i had 5 minutes to get a ticket.
Surprise, a fucking gigantic queue.
i politely asked the guy in front of me if i could jump the queue cause im in a rush, he refuses and says he's in a rush as well. (3 minutes left)
pensioner up front frickin buying a monthly pass, jesus fucking christ.
its 5 past now. 12:05. the train has come, i told him to give me the ticket and keep the change.
Ran like fuck. i just made it. it got to stanford le-hope, and sophie outen was there with eddy-fuck-whorebag.
i waited for another stop. lee and some guy who i disliked got on the train, and eden and sophie met them
i gathered up the guts to go upto her and ask her if we can talk.
it wasnt very nice. tearful and stuff. upsetting x. talked bout stuff really,i cant remember, it was too emotional. i cried halfway through. we held hands every now and then.
we got off the train, and stopped for a bit. just like hugged and stuff. i kissed her at that time, and it felt awkward. but reassuring. she was getting annoyed, so she wanted to go back to her friends.
my heart was thumping ever since i saw her. i left now, and waited for steve and such to come, it was exactly an hour and 45 minutes till they come. and i waited patiently. trying to find reasons why i shouldnt kill myself. finding everything relates back to her. carrying around that folder.... that has stuff in it. things that she would write stuff in to show her love to me.
it was horrible. carrying it around whilst walking. i couldnt focus at all.
steve+demi+jeff (new dood) came, we chatted for a bit. mostly bout me+sophie and shiz.
i wanted to burn that folder. they said she kissed john chart. (some emo twat) yesterday when she was drunk. and he was really drunk as well.
anyways more on that later:
we met up with them, and i couldnt breathe properly when i was going to the lake, i could see a pink thing wrapped around a black thing, and i assumed it was sophie sitting on john's lap and they were getting on each other. i couldnt breathe at all. my heart was pounding. i thought i was gonna faint. i looked closer and turned to a corner, to see sophie smiling and looking at the sunlight, john nowhere in sight.
i calmed down. then i saw lee and eden. my heart raced. if that bitch said anytthing harsh i would beat her down to 3 feet, oh wait, someone beat me to it. i would beat her down smaller and throw her to the lake. and his emo boyfriend as well. Fucking twat.
me and sophie talked things for ages in the lake. ages. and i mean ages. we talked stuff. bout john. it went indepth. that she really ddnt love him as she loved me, she just got on him for the fun of it. she'll probably say yes if john asks her out, but i dont think it'll last long.
Eden and Lee left.
we kissed. a lot of times. hugged, held hands. it was so special.
anyways, she just basically wants to be friends for now. cause her parents had gotten into her (couldnt blame her) and her best mate is pulling away and stuff and shiz.
its fine. we decided to be friends for now, but we both agreed that we will try again in the future. im fine by that!
she said we cant kiss anymore in public and stuff, but we can whenever were alone. which is a good thing.
She said she loves me and that's all that matters.
LOL.
i got you there ddnt i, i told myself that i'd be a PUA. and i WILL.
pua part:
the plan is, shag a shitlot of girls, until sophie is ready to be back out with me.
Stop.
no, im not waiting for her to come back if at the time when she's ready for a relationship and im free, then we'll give it another go. =D
i also realised how good a person steve really is. Steve is a really good friend. when eden and steve were going out, i cant believe i was neutral and helped eden cope.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE
ahh, tourettes kicking in again. she is actually such a fucking cunt. for so many reasons. she manipulated sophie into doing stuff that she doesnt want to do. like saying stuff and shit. she is a cunt. basically.
if i could stab someone right now, besides my real dad, i would stab eden dare. and possibly lee.
anyways, i hope lee catches genital warts. i apologise lee, ur a good friend but for going out with a whore like her? LOL.
Demi is a good person as well, but things havent been going well with her and steve atm, apparantly.
Catch you soon Sinful. (decided on talking on a 3rd person perspective now.)
=D
its fun reading your old blog, it lets you know of your progress!
i promise to write something here on my blog at LEAST once a week, tell us what's happening in your life eh sinful?
=]
i promise to write something here on my blog at LEAST once a week, tell us what's happening in your life eh sinful?
=]
Being Single
So 2 nights ago, i decide to end it with Sophie outen, ive been with her since september 10? i think? of last year, 2007. i ended things cause of many reasons.
she was quite stupid sometimes, and i always had to save her ass when she's being stupid.
she lacks common sense as well, and is quite self centered.
She's very smart though, and she made me feel really loved. when i broke up with her, it didnt feel like the same person that ive met before. and she told me her reasons why. She told me that she was young, and she needs to live life more. and that if she was with me, she'd want to be with me forever.
Bullcrap. She's said that before a million times before. the whole "i want to be with you forever" thing. Which she lied about as well. Things do change, but i hate seeing someone change right in front of my eyes.
Ive been crying for 2 days, and its actually physically making me sick. even when i play GTA 4 (god bless rockstar) i still get reminded of her. Even as i lay on my bed, i remember laying down with her after having sex.
ahh, anyways, details later. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS POST DEAR OLD SINFUL!?
Its to acknowledge my future self of the pain that i went through (and is still going through) right now cause of a certain unnappreciative bitch. currently this song suits my mood:
=D
anyways, after friday night when i ended things, we argued for the whole of saturday, then yesterday (which is sunday) we just started talking casually. She said that she doesnt really want to be with me and shit like that, cause she wants to do some stuff. (probably getting on other boys, fucking slag.)
i was awake till like 2 o clock yesterday, woke up at 7. so that's 5 hours sleep? haha!
anywho, as i was saying: Today marks the day that i turn into a full fledged PUA. my PuA career was almost at its peak when i met sophie outen. then she changed my life around. When i met her, everything just seemed to fall into place. and now, to be quite honest, i would go back out with her. but not soon. no. Hell fucking no. her bitch of a best friend also got involved. which made things worse. i shouldnt have helped that bitch when she was crying and on an all time low.
Ahhh, Anyways Being single means that i can become a full fledged PuA. who knows, maybe i'll fuck my X in the future. So frankly, i dont care. Lol!
Ive also still got this ring that we had for each other. i conveniently broke the necklace part so that i can give it to her broken, weve had that ring since we started seeing each other. it means a lot you know, future self. i remember saying to her that i'll be her bitch until i stop wearing that ring.
anyways, i was awake till 1 in the morning last night texting her, and i said:
" as i stare at this thing that connects me to you, waiting for something to give me life, tears roll down my face in a never ending quest to drown my sorrow. "
Wow i must really have loved her. =D
Everything reminds me of her to be quite honest. from the floor of my room (we had sex for the first time =D) to the door of my room (first time getting head) to my white hoodie that i wore when i first fingered her. =D
Little things such as the key chain that we got from thorpe park (yes you remember now dont ya? )
My shoes, cause i remember crip walking to show her what it is.
my "pimp" jacket, she said im rape material whenever i wear it. hell, even my xbox360 chatpad. cause i only put it on to talk to her. even though it annoys the shit outta me to talk on msn on xbox live.
i'll have lots of fun Sarging in clubs. specially when she's around. it'd be quite hillarious to see her reaction when im Kiss closing someone right in front of her face.
i mean come on though, i knew it wasnt gonna last for long, but not THIS long! i mean everyone got involved, even her mum. so we started going out behind her back. its not like she left us a choice, she made it sound like she caught us having sex when i was just sending her "Juicy" text messages.
it was her fault that she got caught anyways, fucking twat.
And yeah im moving on quite quickly. ive got a heavy heart at the moment, and i need cheering up badly. Ive asked one of my friends (kirsty moore) to come out today and do something, maybe i should try fucking her? haha, she's too much of a good friend. if i fucked her i'd prolly run off to my next victim lol.
Hmm what else is there to say? there should be a lot to write you know, future self. you'll be seeing me in the future and pissing yourself LAUGHING at what the fuck im writing. I know you, i imagined you, i strive to become you.
The one thing that i learned from her, and i think its the only thing that i have actually learned, is that Love is No match for greed. in her case she was greedy and wanted to "live life". when we couldve had an open relationship.
Fucking twat.
Hope you have fun today jay, and i know later you u'll be reading this. i want you to input your day if you can allright? your past moulded you to become who you are, and lucky enough for you, im actually fucking clever so that you wont make the same mistakes again, like what im doing right now, im detailing what happened so that you can avoid it in the future.
Promise me one thing, that you wont get into a serious relationship until you get a car. when i mean serious i mean the whole "go round each other's house and buy her stuff" sort of thing.
she was quite stupid sometimes, and i always had to save her ass when she's being stupid.
she lacks common sense as well, and is quite self centered.
She's very smart though, and she made me feel really loved. when i broke up with her, it didnt feel like the same person that ive met before. and she told me her reasons why. She told me that she was young, and she needs to live life more. and that if she was with me, she'd want to be with me forever.
Bullcrap. She's said that before a million times before. the whole "i want to be with you forever" thing. Which she lied about as well. Things do change, but i hate seeing someone change right in front of my eyes.
Ive been crying for 2 days, and its actually physically making me sick. even when i play GTA 4 (god bless rockstar) i still get reminded of her. Even as i lay on my bed, i remember laying down with her after having sex.
ahh, anyways, details later. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS POST DEAR OLD SINFUL!?
Its to acknowledge my future self of the pain that i went through (and is still going through) right now cause of a certain unnappreciative bitch. currently this song suits my mood:
=D
anyways, after friday night when i ended things, we argued for the whole of saturday, then yesterday (which is sunday) we just started talking casually. She said that she doesnt really want to be with me and shit like that, cause she wants to do some stuff. (probably getting on other boys, fucking slag.)
i was awake till like 2 o clock yesterday, woke up at 7. so that's 5 hours sleep? haha!
anywho, as i was saying: Today marks the day that i turn into a full fledged PUA. my PuA career was almost at its peak when i met sophie outen. then she changed my life around. When i met her, everything just seemed to fall into place. and now, to be quite honest, i would go back out with her. but not soon. no. Hell fucking no. her bitch of a best friend also got involved. which made things worse. i shouldnt have helped that bitch when she was crying and on an all time low.
Ahhh, Anyways Being single means that i can become a full fledged PuA. who knows, maybe i'll fuck my X in the future. So frankly, i dont care. Lol!
Ive also still got this ring that we had for each other. i conveniently broke the necklace part so that i can give it to her broken, weve had that ring since we started seeing each other. it means a lot you know, future self. i remember saying to her that i'll be her bitch until i stop wearing that ring.
anyways, i was awake till 1 in the morning last night texting her, and i said:
" as i stare at this thing that connects me to you, waiting for something to give me life, tears roll down my face in a never ending quest to drown my sorrow. "
Wow i must really have loved her. =D
Everything reminds me of her to be quite honest. from the floor of my room (we had sex for the first time =D) to the door of my room (first time getting head) to my white hoodie that i wore when i first fingered her. =D
Little things such as the key chain that we got from thorpe park (yes you remember now dont ya? )
My shoes, cause i remember crip walking to show her what it is.
my "pimp" jacket, she said im rape material whenever i wear it. hell, even my xbox360 chatpad. cause i only put it on to talk to her. even though it annoys the shit outta me to talk on msn on xbox live.
i'll have lots of fun Sarging in clubs. specially when she's around. it'd be quite hillarious to see her reaction when im Kiss closing someone right in front of her face.
i mean come on though, i knew it wasnt gonna last for long, but not THIS long! i mean everyone got involved, even her mum. so we started going out behind her back. its not like she left us a choice, she made it sound like she caught us having sex when i was just sending her "Juicy" text messages.
it was her fault that she got caught anyways, fucking twat.
And yeah im moving on quite quickly. ive got a heavy heart at the moment, and i need cheering up badly. Ive asked one of my friends (kirsty moore) to come out today and do something, maybe i should try fucking her? haha, she's too much of a good friend. if i fucked her i'd prolly run off to my next victim lol.
Hmm what else is there to say? there should be a lot to write you know, future self. you'll be seeing me in the future and pissing yourself LAUGHING at what the fuck im writing. I know you, i imagined you, i strive to become you.
The one thing that i learned from her, and i think its the only thing that i have actually learned, is that Love is No match for greed. in her case she was greedy and wanted to "live life". when we couldve had an open relationship.
Fucking twat.
Hope you have fun today jay, and i know later you u'll be reading this. i want you to input your day if you can allright? your past moulded you to become who you are, and lucky enough for you, im actually fucking clever so that you wont make the same mistakes again, like what im doing right now, im detailing what happened so that you can avoid it in the future.
Promise me one thing, that you wont get into a serious relationship until you get a car. when i mean serious i mean the whole "go round each other's house and buy her stuff" sort of thing.
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