Things.

Things have been so fucked up to be quite honest, no one has ever made me feel that way, i had the comfort of having that HB 11 around my arm, fucking her and having a great time with her.

Gone.

As wispy said, step out of your comfort zone.

As Tom said, Its been a good run.

and as Emmanuel said, Be a dickhead. if she wanted me back that badly she wouldve waited for me to change my mind.

Today was excruciating. i woke up feeling horrible, i denied the fact that i was depressed. i got ready and went downstairs. i was 10 minutes earlier than the usual time i go out of the house. i was so depressed. i picked up the kitchen knife and looked at it carefully, the edge of it, i could feel it piercing the side of my leg, i wanted to self harm, on my leg. so tha tno one could see. i dropped the knife.

I picked it up again.

I dropped it and broke down.

I called Demi up. talked to her, she calmed me for a bit, and said that sophie aint worth it.

She isnt. Whore.

i left my house feeling depressed. shuffling a pack of cards again.

i got to the bus stop. was still shuffling, little conversation between people.

i threw my whole pack of cards away.

got on the bus, i cried. she really is a whore for making me feel this way.

i was allright, thanks to kirsty.

got to college, i felt so alone even though im amidst a shit lot of people.

a lot of people noticed what's up. they said cheer up, they never really suceeded. i went to my first lesson, i was so depressed. even my teacher noticed it. i nearly broke down in tears. this twat i thought before, that has no feelings, actually cared about me. i tried cutting myself with my house keys, god it felt nice to feel the pain, i stopped mid way, and it ended up swelling instead.

I went to my next lesson, it was psychology, and we had a mock exam. i didnt do very well. i had too many things on my mind, specially sophie.

there was a 15 minute break after the exam, and i spoke to emmanuel.

He's the man.

I spoke to him about a lot of things, he related to me. sophie didnt play me, he said. he said that we played a game, and she won. that's how i should see things.

Okay, makes sense. i also suggested "less is more."

less talking, is better than talking a lot. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP JAY ALLRIGHT? STOP NAGGING HER ABOUT "US" and just move the fuck on. he said i should be a dickhead to her. i should be really to be quite honest, she became a whore, and she's hurt me so bad.

I told him, that once you give that girl an opening, and you're vulnerable, she hits you so hard, you dont even know that you got hit until its over. Hoe's are Sneaky bitches. Sneaky ass'ed BITCHES.

Now, im just going to sit back, live my life, and fuck any girl that comes along. No relationships whatsoever. I'll be a dickhead to sophie, i'll be friends with her, but not affectionate or anything


Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe.