ahh today

Well i left my house today, cluthing three pages of memories worth that i was going to give to sophie outen.

i was pissed off and upset. not a good combination. Bus ride to mcdonalds, walked to train station.

Perfect, i had 5 minutes to get a ticket.

Surprise, a fucking gigantic queue.

i politely asked the guy in front of me if i could jump the queue cause im in a rush, he refuses and says he's in a rush as well. (3 minutes left)

pensioner up front frickin buying a monthly pass, jesus fucking christ.

its 5 past now. 12:05. the train has come, i told him to give me the ticket and keep the change.

Ran like fuck. i just made it. it got to stanford le-hope, and sophie outen was there with eddy-fuck-whorebag.

i waited for another stop. lee and some guy who i disliked got on the train, and eden and sophie met them

i gathered up the guts to go upto her and ask her if we can talk.

it wasnt very nice. tearful and stuff. upsetting x. talked bout stuff really,i cant remember, it was too emotional. i cried halfway through. we held hands every now and then.

we got off the train, and stopped for a bit. just like hugged and stuff. i kissed her at that time, and it felt awkward. but reassuring. she was getting annoyed, so she wanted to go back to her friends.

my heart was thumping ever since i saw her. i left now, and waited for steve and such to come, it was exactly an hour and 45 minutes till they come. and i waited patiently. trying to find reasons why i shouldnt kill myself. finding everything relates back to her. carrying around that folder.... that has stuff in it. things that she would write stuff in to show her love to me.

it was horrible. carrying it around whilst walking. i couldnt focus at all.

steve+demi+jeff (new dood) came, we chatted for a bit. mostly bout me+sophie and shiz.

i wanted to burn that folder. they said she kissed john chart. (some emo twat) yesterday when she was drunk. and he was really drunk as well.

anyways more on that later:

we met up with them, and i couldnt breathe properly when i was going to the lake, i could see a pink thing wrapped around a black thing, and i assumed it was sophie sitting on john's lap and they were getting on each other. i couldnt breathe at all. my heart was pounding. i thought i was gonna faint. i looked closer and turned to a corner, to see sophie smiling and looking at the sunlight, john nowhere in sight.

i calmed down. then i saw lee and eden. my heart raced. if that bitch said anytthing harsh i would beat her down to 3 feet, oh wait, someone beat me to it. i would beat her down smaller and throw her to the lake. and his emo boyfriend as well. Fucking twat.

me and sophie talked things for ages in the lake. ages. and i mean ages. we talked stuff. bout john. it went indepth. that she really ddnt love him as she loved me, she just got on him for the fun of it. she'll probably say yes if john asks her out, but i dont think it'll last long.

Eden and Lee left.

we kissed. a lot of times. hugged, held hands. it was so special.

anyways, she just basically wants to be friends for now. cause her parents had gotten into her (couldnt blame her) and her best mate is pulling away and stuff and shiz.

its fine. we decided to be friends for now, but we both agreed that we will try again in the future. im fine by that!

she said we cant kiss anymore in public and stuff, but we can whenever were alone. which is a good thing.

She said she loves me and that's all that matters.

LOL.

i got you there ddnt i, i told myself that i'd be a PUA. and i WILL.

pua part:

the plan is, shag a shitlot of girls, until sophie is ready to be back out with me.

Stop.

no, im not waiting for her to come back if at the time when she's ready for a relationship and im free, then we'll give it another go. =D

i also realised how good a person steve really is. Steve is a really good friend. when eden and steve were going out, i cant believe i was neutral and helped eden cope.

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE

ahh, tourettes kicking in again. she is actually such a fucking cunt. for so many reasons. she manipulated sophie into doing stuff that she doesnt want to do. like saying stuff and shit. she is a cunt. basically.


if i could stab someone right now, besides my real dad, i would stab eden dare. and possibly lee.


anyways, i hope lee catches genital warts. i apologise lee, ur a good friend but for going out with a whore like her? LOL.

Demi is a good person as well, but things havent been going well with her and steve atm, apparantly.


Catch you soon Sinful. (decided on talking on a 3rd person perspective now.)