Being Single

So 2 nights ago, i decide to end it with Sophie outen, ive been with her since september 10? i think? of last year, 2007. i ended things cause of many reasons.

she was quite stupid sometimes, and i always had to save her ass when she's being stupid.

she lacks common sense as well, and is quite self centered.

She's very smart though, and she made me feel really loved. when i broke up with her, it didnt feel like the same person that ive met before. and she told me her reasons why. She told me that she was young, and she needs to live life more. and that if she was with me, she'd want to be with me forever.

Bullcrap. She's said that before a million times before. the whole "i want to be with you forever" thing. Which she lied about as well. Things do change, but i hate seeing someone change right in front of my eyes.

Ive been crying for 2 days, and its actually physically making me sick. even when i play GTA 4 (god bless rockstar) i still get reminded of her. Even as i lay on my bed, i remember laying down with her after having sex.

ahh, anyways, details later. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS POST DEAR OLD SINFUL!?

Its to acknowledge my future self of the pain that i went through (and is still going through) right now cause of a certain unnappreciative bitch. currently this song suits my mood:



=D

anyways, after friday night when i ended things, we argued for the whole of saturday, then yesterday (which is sunday) we just started talking casually. She said that she doesnt really want to be with me and shit like that, cause she wants to do some stuff. (probably getting on other boys, fucking slag.)


i was awake till like 2 o clock yesterday, woke up at 7. so that's 5 hours sleep? haha!

anywho, as i was saying: Today marks the day that i turn into a full fledged PUA. my PuA career was almost at its peak when i met sophie outen. then she changed my life around. When i met her, everything just seemed to fall into place. and now, to be quite honest, i would go back out with her. but not soon. no. Hell fucking no. her bitch of a best friend also got involved. which made things worse. i shouldnt have helped that bitch when she was crying and on an all time low.




Ahhh, Anyways Being single means that i can become a full fledged PuA. who knows, maybe i'll fuck my X in the future. So frankly, i dont care. Lol!


Ive also still got this ring that we had for each other. i conveniently broke the necklace part so that i can give it to her broken, weve had that ring since we started seeing each other. it means a lot you know, future self. i remember saying to her that i'll be her bitch until i stop wearing that ring.

anyways, i was awake till 1 in the morning last night texting her, and i said:

" as i stare at this thing that connects me to you, waiting for something to give me life, tears roll down my face in a never ending quest to drown my sorrow. "

Wow i must really have loved her. =D

Everything reminds me of her to be quite honest. from the floor of my room (we had sex for the first time =D) to the door of my room (first time getting head) to my white hoodie that i wore when i first fingered her. =D

Little things such as the key chain that we got from thorpe park (yes you remember now dont ya? )

My shoes, cause i remember crip walking to show her what it is.

my "pimp" jacket, she said im rape material whenever i wear it. hell, even my xbox360 chatpad. cause i only put it on to talk to her. even though it annoys the shit outta me to talk on msn on xbox live.

i'll have lots of fun Sarging in clubs. specially when she's around. it'd be quite hillarious to see her reaction when im Kiss closing someone right in front of her face.

i mean come on though, i knew it wasnt gonna last for long, but not THIS long! i mean everyone got involved, even her mum. so we started going out behind her back. its not like she left us a choice, she made it sound like she caught us having sex when i was just sending her "Juicy" text messages.

it was her fault that she got caught anyways, fucking twat.


And yeah im moving on quite quickly. ive got a heavy heart at the moment, and i need cheering up badly. Ive asked one of my friends (kirsty moore) to come out today and do something, maybe i should try fucking her? haha, she's too much of a good friend. if i fucked her i'd prolly run off to my next victim lol.


Hmm what else is there to say? there should be a lot to write you know, future self. you'll be seeing me in the future and pissing yourself LAUGHING at what the fuck im writing. I know you, i imagined you, i strive to become you.


The one thing that i learned from her, and i think its the only thing that i have actually learned, is that Love is No match for greed. in her case she was greedy and wanted to "live life". when we couldve had an open relationship.

Fucking twat.


Hope you have fun today jay, and i know later you u'll be reading this. i want you to input your day if you can allright? your past moulded you to become who you are, and lucky enough for you, im actually fucking clever so that you wont make the same mistakes again, like what im doing right now, im detailing what happened so that you can avoid it in the future.

Promise me one thing, that you wont get into a serious relationship until you get a car. when i mean serious i mean the whole "go round each other's house and buy her stuff" sort of thing.