Bout le bitch again

went round demi's for the day, met emma goldsmith as well.

s'all good. until we just sat at the lake and stuff.

I met new people really. nailed number closes, quite easy really to be quite honest.


Anywho onto sophieos, cause she's the main part of my day:

it basically was fine. she was talking to becca and other randomers and shiz bout me probably, pissess me off really.


i decided to talk to her as i walked past. it was kinda awkard. more like a "are you ok? " "yeah im ok..." "are you sure?" "yeah im sure" sorta thing.


i pulled her close to hug her. she hugged me back.

then some twat screamed out "JOHN'S HEREEE!!!" to sophie.

Twat.

anywho, us lot just sat down, and i basically owned the group. Hooked 2 girls in, and another's my pivot. the people that came afterwards just fell into place, including them two.

me and john were fucking around, putting stuff into bottles and putting water in, then drinking it. (LOL)

i saw sophie take her wristband off.



anywho, we talked again, i asked her if she wanted to talk, she said yes but ddnt know where and shit. we talked anyways, on the lake part.

wasnt quite pleasing, we talked and shiz, and i hugged her. lots of people were staring at us from one side of the lake. nosey gits. i hugged her, aimed for a kiss to deliver the "sorry im not jon chart" line

Ddnt work, she refused.

she wanted to go. so i called her a bitch.

it was basically hell after that. seeing them hug each other etc.

okay, i gotta admit i was well upset and ddnt know what to do. i mean i tried to game these 2 girls that i started gaming earlier. it was allright for a few minutes, then they noticed that i wasnt myself.

I # closed both of them.

after that me emma and april walked to the train station. we sat down, and people started coming and stuff. i asked emma to ask sophie if we can talk. she ddnt reply but went off with john.

okay, here's the goodpart:

i spoke to richard palmer, the man, the LEGEND. he's technically my idol now.

anyways, he basically said that sophie's just hiding it. He knows that she still likes me. it shows. he said that he can see it from his point of view, breaking a lot of hearts and shit, he can see it. he says that she's just covering it up.


this gave me a new perception in life. Screwing people over by their own game.

I decided, that im gonna be friends with sophie, just to give her the "void."

this void is the gap between us two, whereas we were so close before, that i'll constantly try and pull away everytime i get closer to her. the "you're so close to me, yet you're so far away" effect.

I mean seriously, why would she tell me bout all this crap "oh he's so shy" and whatnot bout Jon? what is the point? what would she want me to say? she's filling me in, cause she wants me to be jealous.

Tough, cause its not gonna work. you know why? cause i figured her out.


I mean, ive been speaking to matt rogers as well, fucking hell this guy is clever.

Seriously, After 10 months, she's looking for someone to fill that void that i left her in.

John chart is trying to fill the gap, but ive left some big shoes to fill.

and having me on the side living my life will just make it more intresting for sophie outen.


She said earlier she took off her wristband cause she wanted to cut herself badly cause we werent talking. this was when she took her wristband off. this is where i got the idea.

The way im gonna handle things right now is that:

were friends, but i'll show no affection whatsoever, no <3, X or whatever.

I wont see her, like just us 2.

I WILL give her a proper hug, just to trigger back memories and butterflies for her.


Less is more.

I will give her no cluse as to who im going out with unless she asks. this way she stabs herself in the foot.

basically

the game plan is:

were friends, but i'll give her the lesser minimum. She is your past jay, get over it. i will FUCK a shit lot of girls, and i promise to give at least one blog input every week.

i also plan on getting my phone book heavier, get their numbers motherfucker. if she tries to give descriptions bout her and jon, leave it and just say "Idk lol". or "talk to eden."


Listen to me fucking carefully, the more you ask about jon and her, the more you'll get hurt. it wont do you any good at all.


move on, and FUCK mate. just move on.