Sunday, 24 August 2008

Insanity. (posted on PP forums)

I just came home from a night of 'Sarging'. there were too many sets to go into detail with. but more importantly i think ive encountered major inner game issues.

I started full on gaming these two chicks, in lieu request of my friend, who thought they were quite attractive. i opened, but seeing that the environment was too loud, and that i had to lean in everytime i talked, i politely asked to go outside where it was quieter so i can run full game on the two set (and introduce my wingman later).

I ran full game. Best friend's test, a lot of cold reading, Negging on both targets (Shotgun negs) and after i inquired to my wing which he would prefer, i negged HIS target in order to have a little conspiracy againts me. (a sacrifice, i would seriously give up that 2 set just for him.)


Halfway down the line, i seriously could not be arsed for any more canned lines. and i seriously disliked their attitude. I ejected, leaving my wing to put his game on (he's got natural game, his sticking point is just the approach)

I started to game a few other chicks. such as this HB 8, but there was an AMOG that i couldnt get rid of. (there was obviously attraction between them)

Im 100% sure that if i had the right mindset, i could destroy this guy easily. but by this time everything was going downhill.

I gamed this other set. halfway through my material the friends would go on to have girl talk, and i'd stand there awkwardly. i'd happily eject and socialise with other people.


There were a few more similar sets like this. but i couldnt be arsed to do anything or escalate for that matter. The music playing was crap. there was no one intresting dancing. there were a lot of 30-50 year old men and women standing around.

Take a mental note that im 17. and most of the people that i expected to be there would be 15-18.

No, im not turning gay.

The rest of the night was complete shit. "think fun, Not outcome". i kept saying that to myself. but the fun never came. it wasnt fun. Gaming for me started being a hassle. I feel like i have to flirt with someone. i have to run full game on someone. i have to DhV using magic,DhV spike, i have to watch out for IoI's and body language. i have to bullshit and coldread. i have to look for potential targets.

Its Insane. Gaming is seriously driving me nuts.

I seriously dont know what i want anymore.

After the 9 month LTR i had, i figured i'd mess around abit. i k-closed a few girls under a month. i think the headcount was 4. in a month. that's 1 every week.

This girl popped up. and i was seeing her for a while. she turned out to be a right dick and gave me the LJBF speech.

Screw her.

And this is where i am now. Aimless. Im sorry, i felt like sharing my thoughts with you guys first before i fully decide that i need counselling. or therapy. or whatever..

Its such a hassle going into a forum and finding out 1237198372918732173 million other people with friggin problems. Mostly with the word "ASAP" or the titles in block capitals.

I seriously wouldnt mind if no one reads this or no one gives me advice. Fuck it.

Im asking for help, since i clearly dont know what i want out of my life. Im clearly not contented, and i dont want to be the person that everyone avoids just because im clingy and not contented with my own life.

Yes, i acknowledge the fact that i have inner game issues.

The problem is, i dont think i can trace where it started from... or how to resolve it.


Help is muchly appreciated.

No comments: