Field Report 04

Field Report 04. And i dont come bearing good news.


So i got up, Thinking if i memorised my magic routine good enough, Got up and Done the trick over again (the whole routine) And i listened to TD give some inspirational words. Went downstairs, got an apple. bit of TV, Back to PC, talked a bit with my friend Chris, Took a shower, Went through my final Performance of that magic trick and Bam, im outta the door.


Things were looking Grim, The weather sucked ass which meant i couldnt perform my routine flawlessly outside (As the wind will blow away the cards) So i was limited to inside the mall/Town. Went to the bustop, and while i was walking this man was walking in the opposite diretion and i thought to myself that he needed a little cheering up. i said a Friendly "Morning.." And he replied with a smile and said "Morning mate." This might be a little thing but i think i made at least an impact on him. i'll never see him again, but i think he'll remember that moment.

Anywho, Bus comes This Girl was sitting at the front reading a book (in front of old people) I was gonna sarge her if those old people werent there. Yes i know, who gave a shit. But Seriously, a rAFC sarging in front of an audience who believe that Romance is the way to go with women. Come on. Yeah, Excuses again. Excuses. She left before the bus arrived at town.

Right so with my Deck in my pocket and ready to entertain, i got out looking for a sarge, or an audience. im looking for the mature, Bored-looking People whom i can take a slight 5 minutes to entertain the shit outta them, or a hot Girl just walking round drifting. I couldnt find a target, it was 10 in the morning. even if i could find a target, the most i could find was a 2 set Which were round 20+ years old. Not outta my league, i shouldve approached, Definite HB 10.

Emo Girl sitting on a bench with lots of old people around, HB 5 by my standards, she looked pissed off. No approach.

HB 10 walking alone, i approach and when i reach at least 5 feet near her, Her father came along and said "Come on (HB)”

This point, Logistics are really pissing me off, Firstly old people are everywhere. There are a few targets to choose from (meaning its not infested with HB's) I go back to this bookstore and read a few more pages from 'The game'. No targets still. HB walks in with her sister and Mum. For god's sake.

I go out, near the fountain again, i spot this bored woman sitting on the corner of the fountain and a bored guy around 20 feet from her. (if i wanted to approach the man, i'd walk past the girl first) I decided to go for the guy as my first audience. when i get in talking distance he walks away. Now that's just bad luck to be honest. Things are getting Gloomy as well, looks like its gonna rain. Bad Bad Bad.

I wasnt gonna give up, i gotta sarge or at least perform magic for someone. i spot 3 guys eating their lunch on a bench near the fountain, they were construction workers and i decided to let them be my first audience as strangers. Ever. I approach, Done my trick *jittery, and nervous as fuck* But i think i left them 3 astonished (Though they ddnt look like it. lol)

The Trick: The basic thing is, I make them pick a card, Put it back in the middle of the deck, Say that im gonna make it go on top, i pick the top card and its not their card, i flick the card and it turns to that card. i then put it back in the middle of the deck and make it pop up back on top. i put it back in the middle of the deck and make it jump to my Shirt pocket. Lastly i take that card and put it back in the deck. I turn the whole deck into their card.


First audience done, i felt a bit good at myself. (My approach was the classic Hey there, can i just show you something?) Then followed up with the "im an aspiring magician and i just wanna show you something" Line.

Anywho, i still couldnt spot a target. (basildon is like infested with old people and the weather isnt helping) I went back in the bookshop and read a few more pages of the game. I go back outside, turns out that my pivot is seeing a movie today as well. (different movie) So i walk with her to the library to meet her other 'Girlie' friend. (was bored as fuck anyways) Still no target.

I go in and get the other 'Girlie friend' whilst im still looking for a target. We went to the bank (Since one of them needed to go there) And this HB walked in. Followed by her mum. Oh christ.  i walked outside. walked for a bit, still spotting for a target, a Girl my age. come on, ANYONE. not too young, definitely not older... somewhere along my age... None still, a bunch of girls who hasnt even hit puberty yet. 12 o clock. Noon. i met my friend tom with his sister. (yes i knew her sister was coming) She's around 10 years old i think, Bratty mouthy little girl. we went to a supermarket to buy some shit. Still nothing, This punk ass'ed chav and his 6 foot tall friend was looking at me like they wanted Buttsex, or they just wanted to beat me up. 10 seconds after that my friend tom arrived. we Hung for a bit bought some food for cinemas and as we walk towards the cinema (which is 20 minutes away) Pivot and her friend sitting down on bench.

Chatted for a bit, and as luck would have it, The Slut and the One-itis girl that i liked before is in town as well. (i knew she was, but ddnt pay attention) i wanted to pay no attention to her, and i done the "OH MY GOD RACHEEEEEEEEEL!!!!" Routine on the Slut. (acted like i missed her like fuck) and just gave the One-itis girl the slight 'wave'. (where i wave in acknowledgement that she's there) Then proceeded to give the slut a very tight hug. (she hugged Tightly back, IoI?)

Eventually the group's losing focus on me, the pivot's very dominant and is actually taking control of the situtation. engaged the One-itis girl in a convo. Cant remember details, who cares anyways. (nothing fancy. lol) Anywho accidentally invited them over for the movie as well. So now they're coming. (both of em) I ignored One itis and moved in with the slut, Side hugging to her. Talked for a bit and yadda yadda. stuff like that.


Walked towards the cinema and One itis girl and Slut are too Pre occupied with gossiping to even pay attention to the other girls. i was out back hanging with my friend tom and his little sister (who still ddnt stop talking) We then spotted another friend. Turns out she's going cinemas as well. (Lol) so she came along with us.

Nothing much happened on the trip there, Bought the ticket and its all done.

i went to the Staff lady: "S'cuse me what time does 'Evan almighty' start?" She went "half past 5." and i went "oh dont give me attitude, im just asking!" She laughed and we started to walk away. half past 5 comes and we walk over again i said to her "Doesnt it start NOW?" she said "oh sorry, it actually starts at 10 past. (5 minutes away) i went with "Lmao, you just dont want us watching the movie now dont ya? "

i started just chatting with her and stuff, which was cool. she was about 30 ish. (lmao at age gap)

So we ditched her and went to qeeue up.

I was talking to one itis and stuff and she asked me if i was 'hitting' on that woman (the staff lady) i went hell no, i have standards you know! and she went "Yeah i thought that..." and tom's little sister interupted with:

"Hey do you two fancy each other?" *points at me and one itis*

She ddnt say anything, but i immediately said No. (Dont think she paid attention anyways.)

Some of the other peeps iw as with watched another movie while the 5 of us went to watch Evan almighty. (its a comedy)


Things were good. i picked the middle row, but since there was like an Emo-chair (it was like slashed up and shit) i went "Oh god, an emo sat there." and moved up one row. (i stepped on the chairs) One itis followed. I sat down, she sat beside me. Slut asked me to move up one, because she ddnt like that chair. i moved up one and one itis followed. Tom and his sister sat in front of us.

Movie's starting. She's to my right and no one's to my left. we chatted a bit before the movie about some stalker guy that Oneitis had. (i actually KNOW that stalker guy. lmao, he's a proper stalker)

Anywho, Details Details. Slut offered me something, She Force-Fed me a taco. (with a chili on it.) i said afterwards that i really hated chilli. and i had to drink like 3/4 of my drink just to down the spiciness. One itis laughed.

First 10 minutes of the movie, i was playing with her left hand. (like just playing, Bobbing my fingers up and down hers, etc etc) and then i went "Your hands are cold" and she's like "Yeah i know..." So i held her hand. Dont know what happened there but ive been holding her hand throughout since. When i snapped to reality i remembered that she had a boyfriend whom she's sooo crazy about and that i know she wouldnt leave. She isnt GF material now, as if i ever made her mine she'd be doing THIS same thing to another boy Right under my nose.

Anywho, i Squeezed her hand. No response. i can tell she's wondering what im doing. Im looking for an IoI. a few minutes pass, I squeeze her hand again, she squeezes back. IoI. ? i loosen my fingers up with hers, cause its getting a bit sweaty, i adjusted my hand so its more comfortable. when i went in to hold her hand again, she adjusted it herself as well, so that its a properly held. (I was thinking of some PUA stuff all throughout the movie Tbh.) i was thinking if i should lean in for the kiss, and how awkward it'll be if she leans back and gives me the "WHAT THE HELL!" look.

movie's over. Holding hands over (thank christ to be honest) 2 Girls i wanted to sarge outside girl's comfort rooms, they're too young. prolly round 12. Another one i spotted, 1 set standing alone looking gloomy.turns out she's waiting for her dad. (which appeared a few minutes later)

Walked outside the cinema and spotted one of my friends earlier with her friend and her sister. (which was 10 years old) she was soo adorable. i felt like babysitting.

One itis girl and Slut was talking jibberish again. (girl shit) i couldnt be bothered to even take the scene. i went to play with the little girl. (lets name her that) it was 3 o clock then, and i spent round 2 hours just walking ar0und with that cute little girl. reminded me of a little sister that i never had. I felt happy with that kid running around, i felt authority that i never had. Specially the part when i shouted "Oi, little girl! if you get lost im having your Pink Psp. Yes, that's right, THE PINK ONE!". and she immediately ran back to me. i was carrying something as well so i smacked her every few minutes with it. (playfully of course)


Anywho, one itis and slut had to ditch the group. (they wanted to go shopping, the others just wanted to roam around). Gave the slut a nice hug, and a kiss to the cheek. (She done the same) Gave the One itis girl a hug and i went "can i never let go of this hug..?" (TOTAL AFC, KILL ME) and she stood silent. I held her hand and pulled her in for a kiss. I kissed her cheek. (she turned.) She Turned away while i pulled her back immediately with the "WHAT THE FUCk, I WANTED A KISS!" attitude, i pulled her again and she turned the other cheek to land on my lips.

Bastard woman, Can you just fuck off now? i thought to myself.


Played with the little girl a bit more. She's allright. like a bratty sister that i never had. Gave her a piggy back at the end when were dead tired. She was a bit heavy for me, but it was allright.


So i walked to the bus stationa nd i sat on the rails, while this Cleaner emptied the bin beside me. i went:

"Whoa, scared the life outta me there mate."
he went "haha sorry bout that mate"
and i thought to myself, damn this dude really needs a cheering up. i went:

"So hows your day been?"
He said that the wind's been blowing everything and stuff so it makes his job really hard. I think he quite appreciated that. I felt good.

Bus came, and i played my Music on my phone (on loud) ddnt gave a fuck what other people thought. These 2 blokes looked like they were gonna mug me sat at the middle of the bus (i sat at the end) while i stopped my music (in case i'll get mugged. lol)


They turned and went "s'cuse me mate, was that you playing the music?"

I went: yeah Man, why?

After that, we just chatted and stuff bout Bluetooth and music. (i ended up sending em songs and shit, which i was cool with anyways)

At the end of the day, i had absoloutely no female interaction that you may call a sarge. more like an interaction with a lot of people, which i quite enjoyed. I think that i need a better location for Sarging, The mall isnt quite working fine for me, Too many obstacles like parents and old people..

Field report 04 - 22 August 2007