Field Report 03

There is something about me and failing, its like whereever i go, i Fail. But the thing is, How do i know what its like to get up if i never fall down, Suceed if i never fall down? What if i suceeded non-stop, then all of the sudden get shot down? My life would sooo totally be fucked.

I woke up and Stared at the ceiling, thinking of how im gonna soo rock this party later on, Anxiety strikes as its not my party, and i barely know people there. I knew that, but i decided to push on, Then again, Push myself out of the comfort zone and into my limits: 3:30 pm comes, im anxious for my two friends to come over and we can chill for a few more hours. I whoop their ass'es at tekken and we decide to go to the party.

*Start of field report*

Bear in mind, this is totally out of memory in itself (And not a very good one i must admit) I walked through the hallway in front of her house, Damn, These 'Black' gangsta's was completely Eye-ying my style, I think they were laughing, but i ddnt give a rat's ass. I was invited, and im gonna kick ass. There were more at the doorway, i did the right thing by looking for the party girl herself FIRST. but seeing that she's nowhere to be found, i entered and jokingly said to my friend: "Dude, where's the food?" After a moment's laughter i went to the dancefloor where there was some couches and shit, i sat down while my friends followed the same as what i did. These Black dudes are seriously BLECK. (Blacker than black) i thought to myself, and those things really make me sickly. Its not my sort of people, Seriously. But then, i had to push on. Ive burdened a lot of people through this, and ive got my pride to lift up, Mikado, Mr.Leet/Drave and the other Inspirations for me to stay, I had to push on. Normally this is the time where i chill and just relax for a bit, eyeing for a target but the thing is, I couldnt find one.


"haha Seraphim you noob, you couldnt find a fucking target? are you blind?" Of course not Charlene You dumb fuck, Because 'Bleck' girls arent my thing, they're too rowdy and arent really my 'sort'. if you knw what i mean. I wouldve gladly sarged Anyone of these bitches yesterday if i really liked them enough. Seriously, on a scale of 1-10, they were about a 2. still. The most, 4. and i wouldnt waste my time Running my game with 2 other amog's constantly laughing at the asian dude with the white boy and bounty boy. (Bounty boy= Black guy who acts White) *Cough* those are my friends*

I went outside, got a drink. minor chit chat with some peeps and shit and one of my friends came. (HB 10, my supposedly Pivot.) She attracted attention like mad, heads turning completely and she fell into my arms whispering: "Hey jay." I came back with something like "Michelle, the theme was dressed to impress, not dress like a hoe."She gave me the "Oh no you ddnt " Look while i took some low 5's from Bounty boy and white guy. (Lol, i'll just call em that, it'll be easier) I cant remember anything else, as it was all.. Stale.

There was no one dancing, and black people were everywhere. Im not racist or anything, hell, im fucking far away from being a racist. My group, my crew are from all over the world, Weve got an irish boy, 2 Zimbabwe's 4 Nigerian's, British, Filipino's (ehem) Singaporean's, Maltese, jamaican, Spanish and Chinese people on our group, and that's just OUR group alone. So im fucking far away from being a racist. So anywho, Things start up, Music's flaring, DJ's playing some shit. Still, no one's dancing. probably because there's still daylight. i go out on the entrance when this boy came up to me and HB 10 and said "Hey do you guys know where the nearest shop is?" I couldnt be fucked. Take her. i know you want her man, Go.i replied with "Somewhere over there *points* Then tells hb: Go with him man." She went, and i said a 'playful bye'*Like a BYE! in a sarcastic, Good-that-you're-leaving way. I thought to myself, 3 man team, we can do this man, Tom (White boy) you stick out like a fucking turd on snow, we'll make the best outta this man, Chillax. He said: Thanks for reminding me bitch.

So we went inside again, still no one dancing, i went to the backgarden and chilled for a bit, talked with a few peeps (Chit chat, nothing rapport-related) And i saw inside that people started to dance, i got a drink, stood near the wall for the second, i thought to myself: TOTAL AFC, WHAT IN FUCK'S NAME ARE YOU DOING SERAPHIM, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. But 90% of my mind thought: Dude, this is african dancing, Complete SHIT that you dont know about, Fuck hitch and his 'Zone' theory, you'll stick out, you dont want that, you wanna STAND out, not stick out.I stood there a bit more, with my 2 buddies keeping the wall beside me warm, The dominant girls (There's about 10 of them in that fucking crowded dance floor) was Doing C-walks. (Crip walk, i'll attach a vid later) And i thought to myself: My time to shine bitches.So i went in, Done a V-Step (which looked fucking ridiculous as it was too dark to even see) Then moved on with a heeltoe. One of the girls said in disgust: "What the fuck is that?" I said "HEEL TOE!" Cause i was panting as well as still doing it, I decided to do a bit more of kyren's crip-toe and she went "Man, Fuck this." And showed me a 2-step (still dont know what a 2-step is) Considering that she's like the alpha female of that 10-set, i was outshined, they was shouting "2-step! 2-Step!" while i stood there in awe. I went back to the wall and said to my friends: "Well, i tried man. Too bleck."

FAIL


Aight, so i failed in dancing, but that ddnt stop me more from trying. I got another drink from the fridge and spot this White girl among all the black girls in the group, i was sitting down near the dancefloor and see her being grinded by what, 5 black dudes? im like "Fuck this man, she's literally getting gangbanged on the dance floor".

I left her and went outside on the backgarden, i stood there whilst my friends (Tom The whiteboy and Mayowa the bounty) Kept staring at the Circled-dance floor Trying to spot a 'Free' one to Grind with. Because grinding was done in pairs, you cannot grind alone unless you're a girl, otherwise you'll fucking look ridiculous. I sipped my coke some more. Swore loudly "Fuck this, Where's my W.k.d. blue..." And looked at the nearly-clouded sky. I looked at the time, 9 o clock. "Damn, its moving fucking slow." By then i realised that i wasnt enjoying the party, because it wasnt my scene. It'd be better if i could even dance, but i couldnt even do that. I got back in the dancefloor and said to myself "Fuck you mother fuckers" And went in my zone, i was in the zone. seriously. The side step that hitch taught in his movie, i was doing that, the zone. the stupid zone. while everyone was busting their asse'ss off, i was nearly to the side doing sidesteps and watching them. Gah, Total AFC. Thought to myself "Damn." then nearly slapped myself for not being black enough.

Went back outside, chilled for a bit, talked with some Weed-Smoking peeps and shit, asked them where they lived and whatnot, chilled still And bitchslapped myself for not trying too hard. its like im a fucking alien and all these people are partying still, avin the time of their lives and im like stuck there being tormented. i ddnt give a fuck what they thought of me, Little Chinese nigga or something like that. Although no one was racist to me, my friend or my other friend in any form, im pretty sure they was thinking that but we ddnt care, i admired my friend tom for sticking round the party, he was the only white guy in the whole party. if you were sniping the dancefloor, you could spot him a mile off, simply because he's the only white guy. He wasnt even dancing like the 2 of us, just.. Staring now, into space. Wishing that the DJ would actually play some song that we KNEW. for at least we could sing along to it. (or rap, whatever) but it was like UK-Grime shit. (Grime is like, Uber fucking fast UK rap) and some jamaican Sean-paul esque style of music (Which annoyed the fuck outta me).


I came outside to the backgarden again,this time i was alone, as my buddies were still watching the dancefloor. I sat my ass down. stared at the now-dark clouded sky and looked at my brand new kick ass watch: 10:30. Damn, an hour or two more, how much of this would i have to endure. This guy comes out and just chills at the sofa beside mine, my friend came out as well (whiteboy tom) and just starts chatting with me for some shit (i cant remember) I opened that first guy with an observational opener from his shoes, im like "Dude tom, those are them kick ass trainers i wanted from Foot locker *points* " and i just started to talk about random shit and got them entertained. after a minute or two i ignored them for a bit cause it was going stale, i ddnt even ask for their name, it was too stale. went to the kitchen and got another drink, the fucking dancefloor is crowded, Seriously there was like 40 people on that crowded 12 foot wide floor all trying to do some whacko-black moves and shit.

I stand on the side and watch, the amog from last night enters the scene and says "Hey man, Dance." Now for this i couldnt say anything, i just simple raised my three fingers (middle, Ring and Pinky) while clutching my drink and said "Nah man, im aight."

Now Fuck you lot, i know what you're thinking: You're a fucking idiot for refusing to dance, WHY OH WHY!? because Alpha's dance. they dont give a shit what other people think. But the thing is, i ddnt know HOW to dance THEIR way. so fuck them motherfuckers. Even that White girl from before dances like a black girl.

Anywho, i sat my ass backdown, stared at my watch: "11.. Still." i sat my ass on some coke, i swore loudly, not that anyone could hear me cause of that banging jamaican tune that everyone's singing to (cept me and tom cause we ddnt know what it was) i was bitching that my shirt is wet now, but i ddnt complain, wet or not im still fucked. i sat my ass down on the backgarden again, this time HB 10 (pivot) came round and asked why i wasnt dancing, i told her the truth, i dont know how to dance like them, she explained that its basically going up to a random girl and just grinding your pelvis to their ass. (not my thing to be fucking honest. V, here.) I thought to myself: "Fuck them mother fuckers, im gonna dance my ass off and no one's gonna stop me" (its like my catchphrase now)

So i went in, her hand in mine and we grinded for a good 30 seconds before some prick White-boy Grinded my ass off (its like a form of insult, its a black man copying how a white man grinds) then another guy pushed me and i crashed into her. Still, i thought to myself, Fuck them. And continued to grind for another 10 secs while this Boy Jumps in front and starts grinding with my girl. now im losing my rhythm, uphill battle because this guy's holding court, he's black, he knows how to grind he's with his friends and... His own kind. Get the hell outta your comfort zone bitch. I stated to myself, So i grinded with her for a bit still even though she now wasnt paying attention to me and the reality that i just had my partner stolen from me sinks in. I figured: "Fuck it." and went glanced back to the backgarden, thinking tom might still be there. The white girl from before was still there, grinding with some black dude approx 10 inches away from me, And heaved a breath im sure that she noticed. I danced on my own for a bit*more like 10 seconds* (in the zone again) and then i went her way to the backgarden in about 2 inches away from her face, just for a split second and i knew right there and then, she mustve either been a hoe, or at least attracted to me sub conciously for letting me in her personal space even for just a slight second. If i wanted to steal a kiss right there and then, i couldve done it, but i wouldnt risk my life in doing so. Im in a black-infested Booze Filled weed-smoking crackhead's lair. And i wouldnt even DARE touch any of these girls for the 'Fun' of it.

Backgarden again, i sat my ass down and talked with some peeps and shit, i met this guy 'Cybo' who can Emcee, We chatted for a bit and shit, he was allright. we had a bit of complications at first because i couldnt hear his name. but he could Emcee, and i idolised him for that. (because i cant do jack shit.) 11:30 still. i looked at my watch. 30 mins to go. I moved to the sofa beside me, while some tall black dude sat beside me. I busted his ass for being so tall,

im like "Dude, you make me feel like a fucking midget when you sit beside me, how tall are you? "

He lights his cig and says "Im 6 foot 6 man," While laughing.

im like "Man you're fucking tall man, when you play basket-... wait, you play basketball right?"

He says: Yeah man i-.. *cuts him off*

ME: man, i bet you dont even jump when you do dunks, that's insane man, i cant even do dunks. AT ALL.

*he laughs again, and i felt a bit good bout myself for at least being funny*

then i said to him: Anywho man, i gotta jet, smoking aint my thing man. (cause he's sitting beside me and he's smoking.)


Him: Aight man laters cuz. (Cuz= Cousin/Friend)


So i got my ass back to the dance floor, sat myself down on the couch and HB 10 sits beside me and asks me to dance, im like "Nah im allright". so she decides to sit next to me and chills with me for a bit. (she's a bit drunk. well yeah.) i put my arm over her (not around her but over her) and she leans in. After a few minutes she gives me a slight kiss on the cheek and i respond with "Ewww, Lipstick." (hah, total AFC reply) And she replied with "no, lipgloss." *Silence overshadowed by music and singing and dancing and whatnot.* This guy comes with booze in his hand and she's like "DOOOD!" and the guy's still dancing while he hands out the drink, it was Smirnoff. some sort of alcopop but not pure alcohol. i took 2 chugs of it and moved on. *looked at my watch: 11: 40. God fucking damn it. time moves fucking slow. so i left my friend there hanging while i go get whiteboy from the garden, turns out he took his first shot of a Ciggarette, i was frankly dissapointed, as i knew he'd never take up smoking, i wouldnt even do that, even for peer pressure. im like "Dude we gotta go, else you're walking home." and he's like "i'll be there in a sec".

So i go to the kitchen and find Bounty with my HB friend, my HB friend still dancing and im like "If you wanna dance, get your ass on the dancefloor, not the kitchen. and she's like "no, im waiting for my taxi" and smiles. Turns out you cant leave the house now, cause neighbors are complaining. so if you get outta the house, you're out for the night. me and bounty boy get our ass'ess out. cause it turns out he has to go to. HB follows cause her cab comes. i swore again at tom for not being on time i called him up and said get his ass outside.

So it was just the 3 of us now, Bounty boy, Tom and me. Chatting outside avin laughs, we were discussing how it wasnt our types of parties. (cause normally we'd be banging that party like mad) it was.. Too bleck.

anywho, so much for sarging. Give me feedback. You know how to contact me. :]


Field Report 03 – August 11 2007