December 13, 2008

The stuff written here are from as far as i can remember. Bare with me.


i got ready. i was pimping it with my pink shirt and black jeans, along my lovely wool overcoat, i am pimped like fuck. i made sure i smelt nice too. its my friend's 18th birthday later on, and its a joint with her 70 year old nanny. time to bust out my Mother Hen destroying tactics, or try and see how far i can get with women that are 30+ older than me.

Ive been working all day long, and everything seems to be going to a halt. we were waiting at the train station. Me, Ray Jackson (RJ for short), Shortstuff, and smiley.

a bit of background:

Ray Jackson is a good dancer, if you saw the video where i danced, he's the other dancer. he lacks game. he is AFC to heart, i cannot convert him or help him at all.

Smiley and shortstuff are both of my best friends. not wing girls, just best friends. they're too 'good' for my evil deeds.

we were all sitting down, and there was this cute girl who sat on the same bench as i did. Smiley, Short stuff and RJ were all standing beside me, and i was leaning back on the bench. we were all waiting for the train to arrive when this girl sat down in proximity to me.

I was thinking if i should go and open her or not. i'd get bashed by RJ for talking to strangers, Shortstuff would think im a slut for doing that and Smiley would just laugh.

i decided not to open. but then...

Shortstuff opened her.

Shortstuff: S'cuse me, where did you get your coat from?
HB: HnM *smiles*
me: (looks at her for 5 seconds, then looks at Shortstuff)
Shortstuff: What?
Me: Nothing.
Shorstuff: Then why did you look at her, then look at me?

In reality, i was thinking of something to say. i couldnt say anything to the girl, so i just looked at shortstuff instead.

Me: No reason.

Bit of fluff between the group, i stood up and i glanced over her diretion. still sitting down.

Shorstuff *To HB* - Sorry, is he annoying you? (gesturing towards me)
Me: who, me?
Shorstuff: yes you, sorry about that.
HB: oh no, he's fine, he's fine.
me: haha, i didnt even do anything!
Shorstuff: well she's annoyed because you exist.

(group starts laughing, including me)

She then stood up and walked towards the other end of the platform, as the train arrived.

Charming.

we arrived at the train station. and the venue is far. we walked to the bus stop. and we missed the last bus by 3 minutes. we started to walk. RJ said he's got it covered. he knows where it is.

10 minutes has past. Gale force winds and rain was fucking up my hair. Sin is not a happy bunny. my umbrella nearly died too. i stahed it away. there was no point. it was going to break if i used it, and i was getting wet anyways.

an hour has past. we were in the middle of nowhere.

30 minutes. we panicked. we dont know where the fuck we are.


we were told to go forward. ONWARDS. another 30 minutes, and we found the place. my ears were frozen, and my cheeks were literally lacking blood flow. we arrived.

i opened the door, and i fell tripped over outside. the group sitting directly in front of the door started laughing. they were about 18-25 years of age, and i imagined that a door opening to see some kid who looks about 12 year old (who's wearing a snazzy pink shirt might i add) Stack it like a drunken idiot would be quite amusing.

Smiley, Shortstuff and RJ didnt go in. i went and ask why. they said:

"cause its not kirsty's party."

Bullshit. i just saw kirsty. i dragged RJ inside and settled in.

i went straight to the bar.

Vodka and redbull. On ice. wait, make that a double vodka.

i sat down. i set my drink, while Shorstuff, RJ, Michelle, Smiley, Virgin boy, and all the crew were conversing. they were all buzzing. "Wow, SIN you can get served! go and get us some vodka!"

Damn it, it may be social proof, but sometimes being 18 and legal to buy booze can be annoying.

eyed the room for potential targets, there's on in proximity, HB shanade and HB Leopard. about 20 feet away, HB Zoe, and HB whatsherface.

4 potential targets. game on Sin, Game on. it was a large hall. filled with old people.

reality hit me back. this was my friend's 18th birthday party, AS WELL AS her nan's 70th party. so obviously there would be old people, mum's, dad's and little children running about.

i didnt know if this was a good thing or bad thing. its a good thing cause i can show how good i am with kids, but its a bad thing considering there's a lack of targets.

Wingman came up to me. (look at a few previous posts for 'Wingman'.)

Damn, 8 o clock sin. that chick is hot.

i looked, and it turns out that she was looking at me as well, she turned away.

Sin: Wingman, go game.
Wingman: i aint in the mood.
Sin: fuck off. aint in the mood my ass. go open.
Wingman: no serious. i aint in th emood.
Sin: What about HB leopard? she's got a nice ass.
Wingman: nah man. dw. i aint in th emood.

Fuck him. aint in the mood my ass, if i knew any better, it was approach anxiety.

an hour has passed. i was constantly pushing wingman to open. he keeps pussying out. maybe because the table next to them were seated by a complete family, and the man sitting in proximity of her table was a staggering 7 foot tall shaved head man who was giving everyone evil loosk.

ive had about 7 drinks by now, and i must admit i had AA, i was scared considinering the possiblity that the man could be her dad and im scared of getting blown out.

i thought up of a brilliant and classic idea.

"Who's got a pen?"

i never thought i'd have enough balls to do this.

i wrote down:

"Is that your dad sitting with you?" on a napkin. and showed it to my friends. they went mental, laughing and cheering me on.

i scrapped it. wrote down:

"i lost my number, can i have yours?"

showed it to them, they said no, too cheesey.

so i wrote the first line down on a fresh piece of napkin, went back to the bar to order a double vodka+redbull again, and sat myself directly in front of my ToI. i tossed the napkin to her, landing perfectly in front of her.

HB Zoe: what's this?
Sin: Read it.
Hb: Zoe : (Reads) oh no, no. he's not. Smile
Sin: Ahh that's good, i thought he was gonna kill me.
HBZoe: nah, dont worry, its cool.
Sin: (glances to the table nearby with the family) what about them you related to them?
HbZoe: nah im not.
Sin: they all keep looking at me, im scared. haha!
HbWhatsherface: haha dont worry you're fine.
Sin: oh hello. what's your name?
Hb whatsherface: whatsherface. what's your name?
Sin: That's a cute name. and your name is...? (to HB zoe)
HbZoe: its Zoe. what's your name?
Sin: so its Zoe and Whatsherface? that's cute.
HbWhatsherface: no wait, what's your name? (ioi)
Sin: Im Sin. and they're my friends over there. (points at the table with the drunken bastards dancing around singing to abba.)

a few fluffs here and there, chucked the best friends test, and my wingman entered.

i introduced him. bit more fluff. whatever. i got my phone out and got zoe's number. Number close done.

my wingman did the same, to both chicks. that's when u know that he's an idiot. lol!

i ejected, my 'song' came on and i started dancing.

Note: later on, apparantly when i left the group and danced they were quite shocked at how good i danced. they thought i was drunk though, which doesnt count.

i talked to the celebrant, and she said that whatsherface was named Lauren. i got pissed off.

Sin: Wingman, Eject. serious. its nice to meet you zoe.
Wingman: why?
Sin: just do it.
Wingman: no serious, why?
Sin: you'#ll find out. *giving him the "DO WHAT I SAY YOU MOTHERFUCKER" look.
Wingman: Aight. (moves out of the way)
Sin: right, you 'whatsherface' is a liar, apparantly your name is Lauren. according to the celebrant.

(insert argument here over her name, nothign violent, just a bit out.. on my side)


i ejected, only to find my wingman back there. i talked to them again, and its'allgood in the hood.


they went for a ciggarette break outside. we followed.

Myles entered the scene, what a fucking bastard. as he walked in the girls walked back inside. he scared em off i swear.

as we came back, i didnt really contact them, i wanted to talk to Leopard chick and HB shanade. it was plausible, but not at my state. i missed my sweet spot, and im bordering towards drunkenness.

i had a good time though. =]

me and wingman ended up talking to the group at the front of the door, which turned out to be my friend's workmates. hence the age gaps and shit. they were allright, they didnt say anything about me tripping over. it was quite funny.

Sin: what's your name?
Sam: its Sam.
Sin: i'll call you chris.
Sam: that's not my name.. that's not my name! (See 'that's not my name' by the TingTings.)

we all laughed out loud. haha